


Lost and Found

by Kamefootninja, NaruButt



Series: Fanfics from Roleplays [3]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-06-07 01:46:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6780268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamefootninja/pseuds/Kamefootninja, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaruButt/pseuds/NaruButt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yet another Au Rp; Donatello was captured as a child, raised as a slave and plaything for the foot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is one that still occasionally gets written, so I don't know how updates are going to go on this one. And the Chapters as most likely going to be longer ones that take a lot of time and effort to clean up ready for posting.

Raphael climbed to the highest part of Shredder's tower, his eyes wandering to his oldest sibling and his youngest sibling. The man was dangerous and had caused much harm to their family. Several years ago they had lost their other brother, none of them knew what happened to him: Donatello.

All they knew was that Don could be dead.

Leonardo nodded as he gave his brothers the signal and they entered the tower through one of the escape windows, hiding closely within the shadows to not be seen.

Mikey was pressed deep into the shadows like he'd been taught to, following his older brothers into the enemy territory. They'd been battling the foot almost all their life now and Mikey knew how dangerous this could be.

He signalled to his brothers to stop for a moment, listening closely.  "Dudes... do you hear that?" Very faintly the sounds of voices and cruel laughter could be heard, followed by a soft yelp and the sound of quiet crying

Raphael narrowed his eyes at the noise and it could be heard from the opposite direction. "What should we do, Leo?" Raph asked quietly, looking towards the direction of his older brother. Leonardo looked towards the huge black doors, with the foot symbol painted in red. The noises and the sounds were bothering him.

Perhaps the Shredder was torturing someone. Leo swallowed a small lump. "We should check it out... we should enter through the vents though. Going through the doors like this would probably cause more problems." The older turtle mused, directing his brothers to the vent and the three of them crawled through it.

A few rooms beyond the doors showed where the noises were coming from, the sounds of laughter getting louder the closer the turtles in the vents got to it

Inside was a group of foot ninjas seeming to have the time of their life while passing around a figure dressed in a tatty black robe. The poor thing was currently choking and trying to fight his way from the soldier who was suffocating him on his crotch, thick cock forced down his throat and being held there unable to breath

"You like this, don't you slut?" One of the soldiers hissed, continuing to rub his cock along the smaller figure's face. "Oh, he does." Purred another as he took the figure from behind, pounding into him to oblivion.

Raphael peered through the vents, his eyes widened at what was being seen. This was not what he had been expecting. Laughters, tears, and screams could be heard from where they were above the room. They had to stop this.

Just when he was about to make his move, Leonardo stopped him by pulling him back. "But -" "- I know Raph. But if we go down there now, things will only get worse."

And worse things did happen, another foot joined the mix and added his own cock into the smaller figures ass, stretching the poor being beyond what was able. "You're taking all of us, freak." The man hissed, groaning at the tight heat surrounding his dick.

Mikey couldn't stay and watch this, he was an emotional turtle and this was breaking his heart. "We can't just do nothing" He hissed angrily and made a move to jump down

The victim's head was released and he gasped and coughed while he tried to get his breath back, his throat now free to scream in pain from the double penetration. "That'll teach you freak. Now are you going to do a better job sucking me off?" The soldier laughed, watching the still gasping slave attack his cock to do a better job this time.

The soldier grunted as he continued to pound hard into the smaller turtle. However, it was difficult for either soldier to move with two cocks hidden deep inside of Donnie's hole. Neither soldier seemed to be phased by the screams of pain their victim let loose, continuing their torture.

Raphael had to look away as well, the sight was too much for him to bare. He only spared a glance, and it was just for a moment and he could have sworn that he saw a turtle. Terrapins were rare and there were not many of them. Raph looked towards Leo. "We can't just let this continue anymore. We need to help."

Leonardo knew that Raphael was emotional as well, but in a different way. He was passionate and strong hearted and always jumped into fights without a second thought. But, he knew that his brother was right. They could not stand back anymore and allow this to continue. "Let's move, but we need to be quiet." Leo ordered, before jumping down from the vent

Mikey was right behind Leo, nunchucks drawn but he could wait for the order when the slave was suddenly punched by the one who was getting sucked off.

"Did you try and bite me!" The human shouted while the other two grabbed grabbed the captive who's dirty green skin was now showing that he was indeed a turtle

Before he could get beaten again the three brothers were spotted and the foot kicked their toy to the side and tucked in their erections ready for a fight

The turtle crawled a little away from them and curled up with his hands over his head, whimpering, clearly expecting to be hurt and not wanting to get caught up in a fight

Raphael made the first move, snarling as he advanced at the soldiers. His eyes narrowed, filled with hate and rage towards the humans. Why were they doing this? Especially to an innocent being. A turtle Like them. He twirled his sais, ready for the kill.

Leonardo was not as forceful, he pulled out his twin Katana to block the attack from an oncoming footsman. "How did the three of you get in here?" The man hissed, pressing his own sword harshly against the other, trying to break his balance.

Mikey didn't even try and answer, he was already in battle with a ninja who had been fucking the poor little turtle. "Hey... is h.he ok?" Mikey shouted out toward his brothers that were closer to the cowering form not to far away.

The small turtle was terrified, he had never been involved in a fight or around a real one, only been used as a punch bag for certain members. His Master wasn't around or he would be cowering under the shredders feet in hopes that he would show mercy

Raphael looked in the direction of the cowering turtle and quickly finished off the man he was fighting to go to the smaller turtle. The large turtle was careful as he advanced, moving slowly and reaching out to the frightened figure. "Hey... it's okay, we're not gonna hurt'cha." Raph spoke quietly, trying to distract the other from the noise around them.

Donatello scurried a little further away, scared that these other turtles would hurt him. They had taken down the soldiers that were using him and were clearly the enemy.

The turtle advancing was huge compared to his small abused form, he was too small and thin to be healthy by any means and just stared in fear at Raph with his wide deep brown eyes

The emerald turtles heart stopped cold when those wide and scared brown eyes stared deep into his soul. Raphael felt as though he had seen those eyes before. But they were so full of life back then, they were bright and cheerful. These eyes were cold and dead, obviously from the years of abuse and torment.

It could not be the same turtle. The one the three of them thought had died. This could not be Donnie. But, he had to know.

"Donnie?"

Leonardo heard Raphael speak and quickly joined him, ignoring the dead bodies that had piled in the floor. He knew they should be leaving soon, reinforcements would be coming. Leo stopped dead when he seen the form cowering in the corner. Dirty olive shaded skin, deep brown eyes. He knew that face, it was unmistakeable. A look of disgust etched onto his face, quickly looking away. "Let's go."

Donnie only seemed more scared when Raph had called him by his name, years of abuse and torment had robbed the turtle of his memories, only having vague dreams to fall back on of a loving family.

He held the dirty collar around his neck in fear as he scurried back even further until his shell hit the wall and he realised that had nowhere to go. "W.who are you... h.how do you k.know my name?" His voice was soft but shaking badly, clearly not used very often

"Guy's? Do you know him?" Mikey asked curiously when he saw his older brothers reactions to the frightened little turtle. They had only been young children when Donatello had been taken from them, and Mikey was so upset when he realised that Donnie wasn't coming back that over the years his mind had blocked his memories of him, saving him from remembering that one of his brothers had been killed. They didn't understand back then who or why the bad men were after them

"He's our brother." Raphael said softly, his heart breaking at the sight. But there were other emotions sinking in.

Disgust. Sadness. Anger. Confusion.

So many thoughts swam through Raphael's head, but he turned his attention away from the small form hiding in the corner to look at mikey.

"It's D -"

"Was our brother. He doesn't even remember us." Leonardo spoke softly, unable to look at the smaller form of the brother they all believed to be dead. Don was innocent. He had done nothing wrong, but when Leo had turned around the smaller was gone, disappeared.

Donnie was perfectly silent, hidden away in the shadows of the room underneath a table. He was scared and didn't know what to think about these turtles. He'd heard awful things about his family and now they were back after they'd abandoned him.

The lies he'd been told cut deep and he didn't want anything to do with his 'neglectful' family, scared of what they'd do to him.

Mikey just looked confused. "We had another brother?" He knew there wasn't many turtles and he had dreams about a fourth turtle he used to play with when they were little... he was real? And their brother!  "What happened to him?"

Leonardo took in a deep breath, watching as their brother continued to scurry away from them. Unless, if this really was their brother. But the look on Raphael's face when he said his name was truth. Don was indeed still alive.

But this turtle was no longer their brother. Years of abuse and rape had broken him. Donnie more than likely saw them as the enemy.

"He was taken when we were kids. That doesn't matter now. We should leave."

"We can't just leave him here." Raphael protested, his heart breaking at the sight of his little brother moving further and further away from him. This was not Donnie, not anymore.

"I'm not leaving here without him." Mikey crossed his arms and gave his oldest brother a stubborn look that only a little brother could really do. "You saw how they treat him! Brother or not I'm not leaving him here like this."

Donnie stay curled up, hoping they listen to the one in the blue mask and leave him alone. He was terrified of being taken but also hated it here, this was his life though, just a worthless slave that only deserved to serve his masters the way he did. This was all he'd had known since he could remember, not remembering a time before his abuse and rape... before Master Shredder and his foot clan

Raphael breathed deeply. He was done with all this arguing. The large turtle grabbed Donatello and carried him bridal style within his arms. Frowning from how weightless and bruised he was.

"We are taking him, whether you like it or not." Raph challenged, getting right into Leonardo's face. Before an argument could be issued, the four had to quickly get out of there due to voices in the hallway.

Raph held onto Don with care as they ran, the frown on his face not at all removing his face. But there was rage within his heart. Rage that Shredder had broken their brother.

Shredder would be getting his dues yet.

Donnie cried out as he was suddenly grabbed but was too weak to put up any kind of fight against the strong healthy turtle holding onto him tightly. He still tried to get out of his arms though, yelping and makeig a lot of noise in his distress which was what attracted the foot soldiers outside, wanting to either watch or join in with the 'fun' or playing with the little turtle.

Mikey looked pained to do it but tied his bandana around Donnie's mouth to keep him quiet while they smuggled him out. "Shhh. We aren't going to hurt you, we're trying to help you." He tried to sooth the panicked and distressed turtle who he now noticed was bleeding slightly between his legs. "Guys he’s bleeding!"

"I know." Raphael answered honestly, which was why he trying to be so careful with the smaller turtle in his arms. He had been raped without preparation and the pain he had endured was more than likely severe. "We will help him when we get back home. We need to get him out of here first."

Leonardo took the front, taking out all who got in his way. He was a highly trained ninja and was a trained killer. They all were, but leo was made the leader since he could handle all of his brothers without fear and was the most level headed out of all of them.

Mikey automatically fell back to cover the rear, cutting down any ninjas that tried to attack from behind while they protected Raph and Donnie by keeping them between them.

Leo finally stopped when they reached the woods and looked back at Don. As much as he was trying to hide it, his heart was also broken at the lifeless and scared sight of Donatello. A look he never once imagined he would receive.

Donnie was shaking violently, crying hard and only made muffled cries and whimpers past the makeshift gag Mikey had created with his mask.

Leo and Mikey both had Slashs of blood up them from their fights and Raph had a few patches from where Donnie was bleeding, aggravating old injuries as he weakly fought against Raph in blind fear and panic

"It's okay." Raphael spoke softly, holding Don a little tighter. "We won't hurt'cha, just calm down. We are almost home." The large turtle was not concerned about his own injuries or about the blood staining his body. All he cared about was making sure the form in his arms was safe and out of harm's way.

They slowly reached their home and quickly placed Donatello onto their couch. The place they lived in was far from Shredders tower. Donnie would be safe here.

Leonardo stood watch as Raphael slowly began to check for injuries and winced whenever Don would lash out and refuse the treatment. "He's too broken, Raph we cannot force him right now."

As soon as he was placed down he scurried back and pulled himself into a tight ball, looking for all the world like he was actually trying to pull right into his shell, and he was skinny enough to look like he might manage it too. It was hard to try and get a good look at him like this though and Mikey helped Raph get him to at least be curled on his side instead.

The tattered robe he was wearing was too big and looked like baggy rags draped around him. The poor turtle stunk since he was rarely bathed and the even the rags were covered in dried blood, cum and even waste at the bottoms, various scabs and healing cuts looked possibly infected but tiny pin holes in his arm showed that he'd been given some kind of drugs that hopefully helped to stave off serious infections.

Even his plastron was softer than it should be since he was so weak and malnourished, not offering him much protection at all and his shell seemed to be cracked and flaking in various places.

Even now Donatello was afraid to remove his gag, incase these turtles were like the humans that had owned him and would punish him for it.

"We have to try Leo. Look at him! " Mikeys heart was bleeding for the smaller abused turtle, wanting to just help in anyway he could. "What did you say his name was?"

"Donatello." Leonardo spoke evenly, looking at the smaller turtle curling in on himself. It was breaking Leo's heart to see Donatello like this. He remembered him so full of life and always so cheerful. Cunning and smart.

Now he was broken. A lifeless doll.

Leo cautiously stepped closer towards Donatello and gently pulled him out of his curled in a ball position. "Donatello, certainly you did not forget your brothers. We only wish to help you. Everything's alright now."

Raphael stood by, he was wary of his brother since he was the one who had been arguing about them taking Donnie from the beginning. But the stance of his older brother told him that he had a change of heart. "Let us help you, Donnie you don't wish to get sick, do you?"

Mikey stepped forwards to take off the 'gag' since Donnie didn't seem to want to do it himself, like he was used to being gagged. He gave his brother a friendly and encouraging smile, trying to help him feel less threatened.

"I..I wanna go b.back" The soft broken voice was shaking as badly as the dirty turtle himself before he slipped to the floor with a loud whimper as pain shot up from his aching rear. He was raised as a pathetic animal and animals weren't allowed on soft comfortable furniture, it was too good for the likes of him. "M.master wil b.be angry" Shredder treated him like dirt as much as the soilders did, but he took a little pride in having his enemies son and brother as his personal pet slave that he could do with whatever he liked.

Mikey sat down on the floor opposite him and tried to reach out to touch him but the other shrunk away, scared to even be touched

"Master?" Raphael asked sadly, bending down so that he loomed over the smaller, though it was not in a threatening way. Like a mother would do for her child.

"Come on, at least let us let ya get cleaned up." Raph's voice was soft and quiet as he spoke, ever so gently reaching out to the smaller arm and gently pulling him into his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Leonardo followed after Raph as the larger turtle carried him into their bathroom. The elder turtle grabbed a nearby chair and had Donnie sit on it, being careful of his rear end.

"Everything is alright. No one will hurt you here. You are safe."

Donnie once again fought as he was lifted into the emerald turtles arm, fighting to get free but held too tightly and much to weak to do anything really to get himself free.

The terrified little turtle didn't feel safe at all, this place was new and he didn't know what to expect, these people claimed to be his brothers but his family abandoned him, kicked him out to die in the sewers because he was so weak and pathetic he deserved to die... that's what he'd been told all his life and over time had came to believe.

He saw himself as trash and Shredder was merciful to take him in and give him food water and shelter, to keep him alive.

He was scared to fight too much, being conditioned to associate fighting with pain. Deep brown eyes widened as Mikey brought over a bucket of water and some sponges so they could clean him better. To the brothers it would seem like a random skittish action as he scrambled to get off the chain and away from Mikey.

The times he got a sloppy clean was having a bucket of water thrown over him if he got too messy for them to want to get near. The buckets of water were usually ice cold or sometimes scolding hot, having burns for weeks while people laughed and picked at his wounds to keep them open and sore,

Raphael check to make sure the water was not too hot before they removed the rags from Don's small frame. Donnie was very dirty and had many cuts and bruises. The larger turtle took care, gently running the sponge on Don's arms.

This was killing them. Seeing Don so broken. So lifeless.

Leonardo offered a small smile when Donatello seemed hesitant and he began to work on his legs. The older male frowned when he seen the blood and quickly began to remove it.

Their ministrations were smooth and gentle. They took care as they cleaned Donatello. Wanting to let the smaller know that they would not harm him. They were only trying to help.

Donnie had scrambled onto his hands and knees when his rags were removed, thinking he was going to be raped again but instead he was gently guided back to sit down and was surprised that the sponges were so soft and didn't hurt.

Why weren't they hurting him? Were they leading him into a false sense of security to hurt him more when it wasn't expected... Some of the more cruel soldiers liked to do that. Make him feel loved and then turn around and laugh at him for thinking anyone could ever like a freak like him.

The dirty olive skin was so caked in filth that it took some time before the dull olive skin showed its real colour, much lighter then it seemed now that it was clean. He flinched and whimpered as Leo cleaned his sensitive entrance, but out of trained habit forced his tail down to put it on display, spreading his legs as if inviting Leo to rape him.

Leonardo gasped and quickly pulled back. "N-no Donatello. You will not... That will not happen here." Leo stated in demand, quickly closing Don's legs.

Leos demand made Donnie jump and pull back into his ball at the strong tone in his voice. He'd done bad and angered them. Usually doing that got praise for knowing his place, or more taunting laughter about how he was begging to be fucked like a needy little slut. He braced for a hit before slowly realizing that one wasn't coming, getting sympathetic looks from Mikey the whole time.

It pained the eldest brother to see Donatello like this. The poor turtle had been manipulated.

Once the smaller was all clean, Raphael gently lifted Don into his arms once more and carried him into one of their empty rooms, gently placing Donnie onto the bed and grabbing some medication.

Donnie didn't struggle this time when he was picked up, believing he was being taken to his punishment for being bad.

Raph grabbed some cream and passed it to Mikey. "Apply it gently. " he ordered, which was odd since Leo was the one who gave demands.

The elder turtle was on standby, still wary from what had happened in the bathroom.

Before Mikey could apply the cream though Donnie was once again scrambling away, this time to get to the floor. Beds were a luxury and he was just a filthy animal, he belonged on the floor with the rest of the vermin, the lessons taught all too well to ignore even this far away from the foot headquarters.

"It's okay Donnie," Raphael spoke softly, gently pulling Don back so that he was lying down comfortably. "What had they done to you?"

Once again being lay down automatically made him spread his legs to be taken but he saw the looks on their faces and whimpered while he curled back into his little ball on the floor and cried. Donnie could hear them but had learnt to tune out what people were saying, if people found out that he was eavesdropping then he would definitely get punished.

"Brainwash. Neglect. Rape. It's obvious what they did Raph. He is afraid of us. He believes that we will do to him what they had done. Perhaps letting him rest for the day will be best. We will take turns keeping watch." Leo sighed sadly.

Raphael wanted to erase the pain on Dons face and help him. His heart was breaking at the sight of the smaller so afraid of them.

"I'll watch first. The two of ya can rest."

Though there would be no sleep tonight. Especially with everything that had just happened. Knowing that Don was alive was heavy on their hearts, because he was so broken and had no memory of them.

Mikey agreed that maybe letting him have some time to rest and settle down would be a good thing, it was heart breaking to see this. He thought that Donnie must be his baby brother since he was so small and thin, not realizing that he was older. He grabbed the blanket from the bed and draped it over Donnie, trying to ignore the flinch before he stepped back. "Get some rest little buddy, we'll come back to check on you later." Donnie didn't even look up from his crying

Raphael watched as Leonardo and Michelangelo left the room. The large turtle watched as Don curled in on himself and could not bare the sight anymore. Raph went him cautiously, slowly picking him up and placing him on the bed. "This is your bed, Don. Yer allowed at sleep here." The larger turtle replied softly, covering Don up in the blankets.

The sad and broken look on Donatello's face made Raphael's heart break even more.

Donnie seemed distressed as he was once again placed down on the bed, shaking his head violently as he shook under the blanket he'd been given and tried to to get back to the floor. "A.animals b.belong o.on the flo.or." He whimpered out his conditioned rules, it had been that way all of his remembered life. He remembered all to well being punished severely as a child for trying to curl up and sleep on the bed instead of the dirty cold floor.

Raphael frowned deeply to this. "Don't... Don't talk about yerself like that. Ya don't have to worry about what happened back in that place." Raphael chose silence after that, just watching over the smaller turtle. After all these years Don was here

There was no telling how long or when donnie would be willing to open up to them. Right now, healing was the best option. Questions could be asked later.

Donnie did Slide back to the floor but took all the pillows and blankets with him, making a little nest on the floor to curl up in, he was allowed to do that as long as he wasn't on the bed.

He didn't like it here, it was weird and what was worse he didn't know the rules. Didn't know what was expected of him. He reached up to tug his collar only to find it had been slipped off with his rags and he hadn't noticed. Suddenly panicking again he looked all around him in a frenzy but couldn't see it. It must be back in the bathroom but he was scared that he'd be punished if he left the room. After all the biggest and strongest turtle had been left here to guard him. "M.y Co.llar..." He whimpered out pathetically while he clutched at his bare neck. He needed to keep that on or he would get into big trouble with his Master!

Outside Leonardo frowned at the closed door before looking towards his youngest sibling. He heard soft cries and sniffles before they slowly stopped. This was heart breaking.

"He's so broken Mikey. I don't think this will work."

Mikey sighed and turned to his oldest brother, his baby blue eyes full of sadness. "If he's broken then we'll fix him... He's not a lost cause Leo. He's our brother."


	3. Chapter 3

A couple hours had passed since Raphael had been left on watch over the smaller turtle. Leonardo and Michelangelo were in the kitchen working on some food for everyone. Though, don's meal was light. His plate had crackers, different slices of cheese, selective fruits and vegetables, and two warm slices of bread covered in butter.

Mikey was the one who created everything, Leo just helped him to prepare it. "Looks wonderful Mikey." The elder spoke with a small smile, pointing to the chicken and potatoes.

"I wish we could give him this, but I fear it would be too heavy for him."

Mikey sighed and nodded his head. "We have no idea what they were feeding him. He's so tiny it couldn't have been anything good whatever it was." They would have to get some vitamins down him somehow since he was desperately in need of them, barely having any strength when he tried to fight with them and his plastron was so soft...

Donnie had stayed curled up in his nest the whole time, not daring to move with Raph in the room. If he's been left here alone he probably would have thought he was being abandoned like they had done to him before. But with Raph in the room it seemed more like he was a prisoner. That was how he saw it anyway and just lay there not even daring to go to sleep

Leonardo nodded and entered the room with Michelangelo, frowning to see Donatello still curled up on the floor. "Has he-"

"He has been like that this whole time. Every time I try to get him back on the bed, he just moves back onto the floor." Raphael spoke sadly, blinking when he seen the plate full of fruit, veggies, and cheeses. "That for him?"

"Yes." Leo spoke quietly, slowly walking towards Donnie as not to scare to him and slowly placed the food down next to him. "You need to eat."

Donnie nodded that he understood, but if anything he pushed away from the food... I was a trick right? The food looked too nice for him to eat. They would taunt him with it and then pull it away and laugh in his face while they ate it... But he was so hungry. The humans hadn't fed him for a couple of days and the food looked really good.

He looked up at Leo with pleading eyes, silently begging him not to be cruel and tease him with food, his stomach grumbling as if to encourage himself to just eat it.

"Leo... Back up a little bit maybe?" Mikey asked once he saw that Donnie wasn't making a move to eat even though he looked starving.

Mikey's heart fell when he was right. As soon as Leo backed away from the plate Donnie snatched it into his nest and shoveled it down his throat, clearly scared that it would be taken from him if he didn't eat it all straight away. "They treated him like animal..."

"Yes." Leonardo spoke sadly as he watched Don eat his food quickly, fearing that it would be the only meal he would get. "Smaller bites Don," the elder spoke gently. "You will get sick if you don't."

Raphael walked over then, his frown deepening when he seen Donatello devouring his meal and slowly beckoned his brothers back a bit. "He mentioned something about a collar as well. Something about his master..."

"I told you, brainwashing." Just then, Leo made a face when Don heaved, he had ate his food too fast and as he predicted, he got sick.

Raphael slowly walked to the smaller turtle and gently lifted him up, helping him clean himself and the area around him.

It was too much. Too heart breaking. All the suffering... It should not have happened, not to Donnie.

Donnie panicked, trying to eat even the food he was bringing back up. He had to eat it because he might not get fed for awhile after this, once they got over the fact he was here they would forget about him.

Donnie squirmed and whimpered as he was lifted again by Raphael, who this time was just moving him away from his own regurgitated food.

Mikey felt sick himself at seeing the treatment that had been done to one of their own, coming over to help gather up the dirty blankets so he could sort them out and feel at least a little useful. 

"I took his collar off when we washed him, it's probably still in the bathroom..." Mikey said, addressing his oldest brother since Raph was preoccupied with Donnie

"Leave it." Leonardo whispered, frowning when Donatello was still trying to eat though he was getting sick. "It will only bring more painful memories." Though, this sight alone was enough to be painful.

Raphael removed the plate when Don tried to eat more and had him sit still, removing the food on his plastron. It broke his heart more to see Don like this. But the grumbling told Raphael that he was still hungry. 

"Ya need to eat slowly Don. Or ya wont get yet strength back. Take deep breaths." Raph spoke slowly, rubbing the smaller's shell, frowning at how tattered and scarred his shell was.

Donnie whined as the food was taken away from him. He knew they were going to do that! He was still reaching for the food uselessly as he was held back away from it. He was so hungry. Usually he was fine eating but he knew they were going to take it off him because they were hanging around to watch and laugh... Only no one was laughing for once.

The olive turtle was crying but went limp in Raph's arms, letting him do what he wanted with him in hopes he could earn himself some food.

Mikey didn't want to leave but took the blankets to the washing, they could do with a clean anyway since it was the spare room no one slept in and they had not expected to use it anytime soon. He grabbed a bottle of water before he came back and handed it to Raph for Donnie

"Thanks Mike, I know this is... Hard for ya." It was hard for all of them. Once Raphael knew that Donatello was not going to throw up anymore, he slowly gave him back his plate, but stayed close to make sure Don took things slow.

Raph gave Donnie the water bottle and his heart sank when he seen how fast Don drank it, not at all savoring it. They had starved and parched him. It was unbelievable.

Sickening.

"Shredder will pay for what he has done." Raphael vowed with a growl.

Mikey sighed and leaned against Leo for some physical comfort. "I can't believe I forgot about my own brother." He frowned, feeling extremely guilty that he never realised that turtle friend he dreamed about was real

It was a good thing the bottle had a sports lid on it otherwise half of it would have been down his plastron with how desperate he was drinking it. Donnie soon finished the whole bottle and kept it all down amazingly. Years of being forced to swallow the humans disgusting seamen making him be able to swallow with it barely touching his throat on the way down.

He reached out for the food and then stopped and pulled him arms back in to hug himself, not sure if he was allowed food or if it was there to taunt him.

Leonardo frowned and pulled Michelangelo close, wrapping his strong arms around him in a comforting hug. 

"It was not your fault." Leo whispered quietly, no longer having the stomach to watch the sight of Donatello looking so worn and broken. The elder turtle placed his head upon Mikey's and just held onto him, secretly needing comfort as well.

Raphael forced a small smile, pressing the plate a little closer to him. "It's okay. Go on, just take it slow."

"He's been suffering and... I forgot he even existed." Mikey was getting emotional as he hugged Leo tighter, needing to know that he wasn't a bad person because of his memory

Donnie was tense and waiting for a punishment or for the food to be taken from him as he grabbed a little, holding perfectly still a moment before eating it slowly like he was told.

Leonardo pulled Mikey tighter just as the smaller had. "We all forgot about him Mikey. We believed him to be dead. But he's here now. All we can do is just be here for him."

Raphael watched him, his soothing strokes on his shell continued as he soothed the smaller. Just being there for him. There was not much else they could do. The next step was up to Donnie to take.

Mikey didn't say it outloud but Donnie seemed like he'd have been better off dead all those years ago as a child. What he'd be in since then wasn't life, it was hell on earth and had broken him into what he was now.

Donnie slowly ate everything that was left on the plate and kept it all down this time, squirming now that he was just being held tightly in the big turtles lap.

An hour or so had passed and the smaller had finished his food in a much slower place. Once they knew that Donatello would not throw up anymore, they made his nest a little more comfortable and placed Donnie down. Surprisingly enough the smaller turtle had instantly fell asleep, obviously with a full belly and for all the activities of the day.

The three other turtles remained within the room. Raphael was restless though. He frowned when he seen Michelangelo curled under Leonardo's arm.

"What should we do, Leo?"

"Let him rest." Leonardo spoke softly, frowning as he looked down at Mikey before looking back at Raph. "We will give him a few days to heal and see how he reacts. Once he is healed enough we will make our next move."

The three were sat on the bed since Donnie seemed insistent that he had to sleep on the floor, the bed was striped bare to make up Donnie's little nest, but the mattress was still comfortable while they talked.

Mikey was cuddled up to Leo still seeking comfort and watching Donnie sadly, wondering how he could forget his own brother who seemed to have been sweet in his dreams.

"Do we have a next move? He's going to be be terrified of us for quite awhile I think considering the treatment he's used to." Mikey pointed out sadly

"Yes, to slowly get his memories back. But that will take some time. We will need to teach him and show him that everything Shredder told him was a lie." Leonardo said softly, rubbing the smaller shell in comfort. "Though it will take some time. We will need to be patient."

Raphael grunted when Leo shot him a look. He wasn't stupid. He knew that Donatello would need time. The large turtle watched him for a moment before looking back up to Leo. "We should probably get him some clothes too. And treat his wounds tomorrow." Raph suggested, having to look away now and again when he seen the bruises and cuts littering Don's body.

How could someone do this to such an innocent being?

"We don't even know what lies he's been told though." Mikey pointed out. Donnie just acted terrified, he might not even believe that they really were his brothers. "I think I've got some clothes for him, though he's a bit smaller than me so they might be a big baggy." Still they would fit better than any of the oldests' clothes.

"I just want to get him to act like a person and not an animal. Eating and taking a bath easily would be a start."

"Exactly." Leonardo agreed. Slow steps. That was what they would need to do.

The three turtles watched over the smaller throughout the night. They dozed off off and on, but would slowly rise if they heard Donatello crying out. Nightmares of that horrible place that turned him from a person and made him feel like an animal. 


	4. Chapter 4

Leonardo was the first to remove himself from the bed when the early morning sun rose would be rising outside. Leo checked on Don, realized he was sleeping and left the room to tend to his morning routine. Meditation and training. Things that he was taught by his master and had learned all of his life.

Though, meditation would be difficult   Due to the activities of the past night.

Mikey was next to leave, getting up to have a shower and make a start on breakfast for all of them, wondering what would be best for Donnie who probably had a very delicate stomach.

Raph was the only one left alone with Donnie when he started to wake up, squirming and looking around only to realise that his 'guard' was still there. He needed a wee but didn't know where the bathroom was or if he was allowed to leave so he stayed, squirming and whimpering in his little nest until he ended up wetting himself. He didn't even get up afterwards, just stayed lying in the blankets that were now soaked in his own urine

Raphael woke up to the smell of urine. His nose wrinkled in distaste and he looked down at the bundle of limbs. Don was curled in on himself crying while he laid within his own urine. Raph quickly got up and removed Don from the mass of wet blankets and quickly carried him out of the room and into the bathroom.

Leonardo watched in confusion as Raphael took Donatello away, having been brought out of his meditation when he heard the door slam open. "What's wrong?" Leo asked, quickly following after his brother.

"He urinated himself. I think... I think he was too scared to ask if he could use the bathroom. Go grab some rags, we need to clean him again."

Leonardo came back shortly with the rags and helped his brother clean, Donatello, frowning when h was once again in a lifeless state. "Don, you are allowed to go to the bathroom. You mustn't wet yourself. We are. Only here to help you. Everything will be fine."

Donnie whimpered but nodded his head, squirming and trying to cover himself and put his penis back into his shell from since it was still hanging out after urinating, not even washing himself as he tried to tuck himself away.

He was scared that they would get ideal or damage it if they got hold of his penis, there was already dark bruises on it from .where he'd been tortured by soldiers squeezing and pulling it too tightly to cause him pain

Raphael was beside himself. They had never been through something like this before. They were doing the best they could.

Raph had not noticed that Dons penis was even out, mainly because he was too worried about getting him clean. Making him feel safe for once in his life. But even he knew that was a long way to go.

The larger turtle sniffed the air and smelled eggs, bacon, and even toast. He looked at Donnie then, speaking in hushed tones. "Would you like something to eat? Are you able to stomach it?"

Donie tucked his penis in without wiping it or anything, just getting it out of sight and flinching a little as the sponges cleaned his lower plastron and thighs, once again his tail dropped down assuming that they were going to finger or fuck him.

Donnie was drooling a little at the amazing smell wafting through the lair, it smelt so good. He used to like to sit outside the kitchens in the foot headquarters to smell the food that he was never allowed to eat, his food was only ever scrapes from the table or food that was starting to go off.

He nervously nodded his head when he was asked if he'd like something to eat, that food smelled to nice for him, they'd want I'm to do something to earn food that good.

"Come on then." Raphael spoke softly, gently lifting Donnie up from the stool and having him stand up on his own. The larger turtle supporting him as he was led to the dining room table. He hoped that it was not too much for the smaller turtle.

Leonardo walked up from behind, holding a pair of Michelangelo's clothes as Don was placed onto one of the wooden chairs. Leo held a shirt up to the smaller turtle and when he knew that it was alright, he gently began to help him get dressed. Raphael right there to help as well.

Once he was dressed. Leonardo took a step back and frowned at how small Don was. "This is not good."

Donnie let Leo dress him with no problems, used to letting people do what they wanted to him and this was no exception.

Even though Mikey was smaller then Raph and Leo he was healthy, unlike poor Donatello. The smallest clothes they owned were still baggy on him

Donnie wasn't interested in the clothes though, his eyes were glued to the table and the tasty breakfast that had been laid out there. There was a little bit of everything, sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, cereals along with juice and milk. Leo also had a cup of his sweet tea and a dark coffee for Raph. Mikey had made sure to cover almost everything since he didn't know what the small abused turtle could have

Raphael sat down next to the smaller turtle, while Leonardo and Michelangelo sat next to each other opposite them. The larger turtle took a sip of his coffee and was surprised when Don was unmoving. And not at all touching the food. "It's alright, Don, you can eat as much as you want. Ya don't gotta wait for permission."

Leo looked over at Mikey and smiled when he seemed to be distressed. "You did a wonderful job, Mike, the food looks amazing." The eldest turtle complimented, trying to make the younger sibling feel a little better. Leo looked over at Don and watched as he slowly reached for the food, obviously scared. "Eat as much as you wish, Donatello. It's alright."

Donnie slowly took a bowl of scrambled eggs, eyes darting around madly as if expecting to be stopped of hurt for daring to touch the food that was far to nice for a freak like him.

He started to slowly pick at it with his hands even though it was messy and already had a spoon in it for him to use, using his hands to start eating nervously.

Mikey sighed but managed a sad smile. "Thanks Leo.. I didn't know what he could eat so I made extra." He explained while drinking his own orange juice and looking at the much too skinny turtle

Raphael had made his plate but he had not dared to touch it. He was too busy watching as Don are his food nervously. Feeling sympathy, the larger turtle helped Donnie with the spoon and fork, showing him how to use it to eat his food without making too much of a mess. It was heart wrenching, but he stayed calm.

Don needed all the support he could get.

Leonardo was impressed, Raphael was handling things so well. Taking care of Don and making sure his needs were met. Leo slowly drank from his tea, chewing his food slowly. "He needs his strength. Once he has more meat on his bones, we can teach him more things and possibly trigger some of his memories. "

The way Donnie was holding the cutlery proved that he'd never held them before since he was taken, getting nervous of the feel of metal in his hands since it reminded him of the humans weapons and toys. He struggled to use them with Raph help and it took even longer for him to eat.

"Hopefully." Mikey said trying to sound optimistic while he ate. He also hoped to get his memories back and hopefully they would be triggered as well

Raphael watched him for a moment and helped when he could, but he knew it would take time for Don to get used to the utensils. But he was trying and it made him smile a little bit. "See, ya got it."

Leonardo watched carefully, taking his time with his food, before smiling himself when Donatello seemed to be making some progress. Perhaps things were not as lost as he had originally thought.

Donnie wasn't holding the utensils properly and was clearly struggling, but at least he was managing to get food from the bowl into his mouth which was already an improvement from when he started, catching on fairly quickly for his first time using them

Mikey though was watching with a broken heart that his little brother couldn't even eat since it looked like he'd never learnt. The poor thing probably couldn't read or write either, things that you are taught and learn as a child had never been part of his life

Raphael frowned as he watched Donatello before letting him eat on his own. Don was not going to get any better if they were at his side twenty four seven.

Breakfast went a little more  
smoother after that and the three sat there, unsure of what to do next.

Leonardo rose from his seat after his meal was finished and began to clean off the table once everyone was finished. After that, he came over towards the smaller, speaking softly. "Will you let us treat your wounds today? You can trust us Donatello. No harm will come to you here."

As soon as Leo stood up Donnie had tried to rush forwards to clear the table, it was his job to clean up after everyone! But Mike had held him back saying that Leo had it and that he should just sit back down which he did, somewhat reluctantly. He was still shaking slightly and just fidgeted as he watched one of them clean everything.

He didn't believe that he wouldn't be hurt but he was too used to it too really care, whimpering and nodding his head before starting to strip off where he was sat

"Easy, Don." Raphael spoke softly, slowly stopping Don before he stripped himself completely naked. "We won't - do something like that. Just gonna check your injuries. That's all." The larger spoke calmly.

Leonardo came over with some disinfectant and cream. He sat on a chair next to Don and frowned at all the bruises and swelling. Those sick bastards. They will pay for what they have done.

Leo cursed quietly as he applied treatment on the wounds, not at all liking how infected and bruised some of them were.

Donnie was whimpering and hissing out in pain as the disinfectant stung his wounds and his bruises were sore to touch. He knew that he was going to get hurt, he always did.

He once again stripped off this time until he was naked, exposing all of his abused body to his brothers, there wasn't anywhere where he hadn't been hurt by the human soldiers, even his tail was bruised and looked like it had been burnt badly

Mikey came over to gently help Leo with all the injuries, trying not to think about how he would have gotten them

The whimpers and the soft crying was slowly shattering their hearts. Donatello had been put through so much. Guilt ate at them. While they had grown healthy and strong, Don had been abused while they believed Donnie was dead.

Maybe if they would have infiltrated the building sooner, Don would not have to have been through so much torment. Don did not deserve that. No one did.

Raphael slowly worked on the tail, frowning at all burnt and bruised up it was. The smallers tail did not even curl or stretch out as far as it was supposed to, far too sore and damaged for it to be possible. The larger turtle wanted to help with his other parts as well, but he did not want Don to have the wrong impression or become scared that they would try to rape him.

Raph and Leo both avoided those for now, slowly making their way to the shell and plastron.

Donnie tail used to be extremely sensitive, but now he didn't have much feeling on it at all, only able to move it a little. the burns were sore though and even with a limited amount of feeling it hurt enough to make him cry out and jerk away from Raphs touch. He wanted to run away but was too scared to try and stop them from doing what they liked with him.

It didn't escape the abused turtle that his most sensitive parts were being left till last. They probably wanted to finish with this before enjoying themselves by messing with him there.

Raphael avoided the slit and worked his way around it. Spreading cream and healing ointments along the scars and scrapes upon the plastron. Though he was careful, Don's plastron was so soft that he was afraid even the gentlest touch would make it worse.

Leonardo frowned at all the funk that came off his hand when he spread cream along the smaller's shell, it was so filthy and scarred that black covered all over his hand.

That sick bastard.

The two larger turtles growled to themselves. How could Shredder do this? How could they allow it to happen?

Raph bit his lip for a moment before grabbing Don's small hand within his own and placed some cream on his hand. "Um... Use it to uh, for your privates. Just spread it slowly. We won't touch you there. No one will ever touch you like that, never again." The emerald turtle vowed.

Donnie jumped and whimpered as he heard the growls, thinking that they were growling at him and shakily moved to quickly rub the cream on himself like he was asked.

He misunderstood what Raph had meant to mean that they wanted to watch him put on a show, which he'd been asked to do in the past. His hands were shaking as he started to stroke his slit until his bruised penis fell out, mostly soft but a little hard as he worked to pleasure himself for their amusement.

Raphael's face flushed deeply when he realized what Donatello was doing and quickly moved his head to the side, holding his hand up. Dear god, the smaller thought that....

"N-no! Donatello! Not like that! I didn't mean it like that -"

"We have to explain it slower for him to understand. He has been raped and used, Raph." Leonardo said slowly, his own face quickly turned. "Donatello... That's not what we meant. We are sorry for misleading you, you can put yourself away now." The elder spoke evenly, trying to calm down his own blush of embarrassment.

Donnie pulled his hand away like it was on fire when they seemed upset at what he was doing. Was he doing it wrong? He was scared that he'd be punished for doing it wrong and quickly moved down to finger himself instead with a little whine, luckily his finger was still coated in the healing gel and would help the tears along his entrance.

When he was told to put himself away his eyes were wide, having already worked himself halfway to an erection it would be uncomfortable inside his slit now but he still managed to tuck it back in, a bulge still visible through his soft plastron. There was almost not enough muscle for his slit to stay closed around it now it was half hard but it was just about, still fingering himself while he tended to it

They turned their heads as they waited for Donatello to finish what he was doing. It was too hard to watch. Though Raphael felt like utter shit. Perhaps if he had explained things better, Don would not have got the wrong idea.

The hot head turned to face Donatello and quickly looked away with another embarrassed flush when Don made noises. Though it became too much and he slowly stopped him.

He did his best not to give the wrong Idea this time. The large turtle tried not to look at the bulge as he placed on the smaller's pants and shirt. All the wounds were covered but would need to take time to heal.

Leonardo turned to face Don once he was clothed and frowned when he saw how uncomfortable he was. "I guess we are not making things easier for you. I'm sorry."

Don squirmed, trying to get comfortable with half an erection tucked away under his shell but he couldn't, the baggy clothes helped to hide his erection but he just curled back up in the chair with tears still in his eyes.

He didn't talk much unless he needed to, there wasn't any need to in the foot and he wasn't used to it, it felt weird to use his voice again after so long.

The main reason this wasn't getting easier for Donnie was because he didn't understand it, he'd been used all his life in a certain way and didn't understand the new rules yet, scared of being hurt and punished by these so called brothers who abandoned him as a child

Raphael frowned at the tears on Don's face and felt at a loss. So many years have been wasted. The larger turtle did not know what to do or say to make Don understand.

Leonardo felt the same way. They did not know what the smaller had been through initially. Nor did they know how to essentially care for him. They were going on a whim, it was small success, but they seemed to keep taking two steps back.

But they still needed to do what they could.

"Would you like to explore? Look around perhaps?"

Don shrugged his shoulders, not really comfortable with wandering around on his own in case he would get punished for doing or seeing the wrong thing. "I.if y.you want m.me to." He answered automatically, as if he had no free will of his own and just would follow any orders he was given.

He'd moved around the foot a little easier but here he was still a stranger and didn't know what was expected of him. He'd heard such horrible things about his family that even though he could see them now he was still afraid of them.

Donnie didn't know why they'd taken him back, they hadn't wanted him as a child so why would they want him now?

Raphael watched as confusion etched itself everywhere on Donatello's face. Obviously not used to such treatments. The older male calmly stood to his feet and took Don up with him. "No, it's if you want to. You're not a prisoner here Donnie. You can do as you like.

Donnie didn't see how he wasn't a prisoner, he'd been taken from his 'home' and could leave, he was a prisoner no matter what they said.

Leonardo nodded his head in agreement with Raphael. "Once you feel comfortable. We will even show you the world outdoors. But one step at a time. Let's start with the living room first?"

It was a common living room. A suaded sofa, small wooden coffee table, a brick fireplace on the back wall, and upon the fireplace were photos of the three brothers. The older male had Raphael lead Don towards the bookshelf on the right wall and waved out his hand to show all the history, science, and English books. "This is our studies. Feel free to look through as many as you would like."

Donatello was secretly very intelligent, eyes drinking in every detail for future reference and noting places he could hide in if he needed to get away.

He stared at the photos and saw how happy the brothers looked together, some of them having a huge rat in the photos that looked familiar to him. "I.I can't read." He said quietly, looking down at the floor awkwardly, he'd never been taught, always wanting to learn and better himself but he wasn't allowed

"We will teach you." Leonardo spoke softly, his heart breaking at the sight of Donatello looking like a kicked puppy who had its tail between its legs.

Donnie gave a small smile for the first time in years when he was told that they would teach him how to read, genuinely happy to get a chance to educate himself.

Leo swallowed and coughed as he led them to another part of their home. It was a dojo, decorated to its finest. A weapon rack on the far side of the wall, beautiful and traditional tatami mat flooring, tatami sliding doors, and a small table located in the middle if the room.

Though Leonardo did not take him too far into the dojo, not wanting to awaken any bad memories.

And they did have to move on from the dojo quickly, since Don had started to try and scurry away in fear when he saw the weapons rack, shaking and pleading that he would be good and behave.

They slowly walked to another door, which led to the bathroom. "Raphael's room is right across from the bathroom and your room. Mikey's room is next to mine on the opposite side of the Lair. If you ever need anything. Don't feel afraid to ask."

Raph was silent throughout the whole thing. The smaller's silence was like a blade. It was hard on all of them. But, they needed Don to understand. No matter how much time that may take."

He now knew where everything in the lair was from the little tour, learning fast and taking in the information like a sponge since it would help him adapt.

"Let's have you rest now. It's been a long morning." Leonardo spoke evenly, leading Donatello to his room. His bed had been remade and the nest he had created on the floor was now filled with more pillows and blankets.

Mikey had just finished remaking the nest when the others came in, offering a warm and inviting smile to the nervous little turtle.

They would let Don work at his own pace. After all, he could not heal if they did everything for him.

Raphael helped the smaller down onto the pillows and offered a reassuring smile, tucking the smaller into the blankets.

He flinched at first when he was touched but then just looked confused as he was tucked comfortably into his bedding. Were they letting him have a little nap? "T.thank you"

Donnie curled back up in his little mess of blankets and pillows, surprised that they gave him such a comfortable little place to bed down in and call his own. They'd even given him clean sheets after he'd wet them, usually if he'd done that he'd just have to wait for it to dry and sleep in the smelly sheets or try and wash them himself.

Raphael offered another warm smile to this and patted Donatello's head. "Get some sleep." He spoke softly and the three turtles left the smaller one alone, though they stayed close.

Donnie nuzzled into Raph's hand like a pet as his head was pat, knowing that the humans seemed to like him acting like a pet, it also showed that he liked to be pet and touched like that.

Their hearts had felt a little lighter when Don spoke those two words. Knowing that they were slowly healing him made them feel ten times better. But there's still a long way to go.

Perhaps it would not take as long as they thought.

Slowly, with a full stomach and warm bedding Don fell into an easy sleep,  much more relaxed on his own then when there was someone in the room with him.


	5. Chapter 5

Noon came and it was lunch time. As much as thy hated it, they knew that they would need to wake Donatello up so that way he could have some lunch.

Raphael was the one who walked into the room. Michelangelo had made sandwiches, and had made another feast again. Wanting to make sure that there was something for Don to enjoy.

Raph was cautious as he walked to the little nest, a warm smile on his face when he seen Donatello curled up into a little ball. Very carefully Raphael poked him, though his features were non-threatening and were soft. "Hey, it's lunch time. Ya hungry?"

Donnie was a light sleeper and the gentle touch woke him up with a start, struggling with his tightly tucked sheets and getting tangled up in them in his panic.

Slowly he calmed down and looked up at Raphs soft friendly features and just gave a slight whimper as he lay still not knowing what was expected of him

Raphael sighed when Donatello looked scared. The larger turtle tried not to show how much that hurt, though the way Don was wrapped up like a cocoon made him chuckle softly.

"It's lunch time." Raph said again, a small grin on his face. "Ya hungry? Or do ya wanna sleep some more?"

Donnies confusion didn't fade though with Raphs words. "B.but I've e.eaten today." He said softly, not used to being fed so often. Usually he only got fed every few days or a little every other day if he was lucky

He'd eaten a lot and felt like he'd be punished for being greedy if he ate again and they'd just made a mistake.

The larger turtle frowned. Hearing this made his heart ache. The foot never fed Don properly and the poor turtle had never experienced three course meals a day.

"There are three meals in a day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yer gonna probably need ta eat more than that ta get yet strength back." Raphael spoke softly, smiling warmly again. "Come on, let's get ya out of there." He did not make a move though, wanting Donnie to make his mind up for himself.

Donnie slowly got himself out of the bedding and stood up infront of Raph, while still looking at the floor. "T.that's a lot o.of food" Donnie said quietly, not sure if he could eat that much.

He didn't move to leave until Raph did and always stayed behind him a few steps

Leonardo sat at the table, drinking tea. Upon the table was a beautiful tea set that was made in japan, it was white with clouds painted on it in blue. The eldest turtle looked up when Raphael arrived and he managed a smile when Donatello showed up. "Glad to see that you are awake, Donatello."

Raphael sat down in the next empty chair, ushering Don to sit next to him. He could tell that the smaller was nervous and gave him another smile.

Leo sat out some cups and poured Raphael some coffee and tea for Michelangelo and himself. He poured another cup and slowly offered it to Don. "Would you like some?"

That was a question right, not an order? Nervously he shook his head, looking like he was ready for a hit for saying no. He wasn't sure what their names were but either him or the big strong one had to be the leader.

Mikey lay out some simple sandwiches,  but once agains there was all sorts there to give Donnie a good choice of what he wanted to eat. He brought over biscuits and little cakes as well, just a little picnic style lunch for them to pick at, all finger foods since Donnie seemed to struggle with the culturally earlier

Raphael grabbed his sandwiches and biscuits and placed them on the plate.  

Leonardo raised an eyebrow when he seen all the food on Raphael's plate. "You got enough on your plate, Raph?"

The hothead scowled. "Oh shut up, Leo." Raphael hissed, though he knew it was a joke. They were trying to set the mood, make it a little lighter for the smaller turtle.

Though Raphael still felt as though that it was not enough and tried to bring Mikey into the conversation. "Mike eats more than me, I don see ya gettin on his shell fer it."

"Hey!" Mikey whined. True out of all of them Mikey was the chubbiest because of all his pizza and lax attitude towards training but still!

Donnie nervously watched the brothers interact and tried to learn from it. So their names were Leo, Raph and Mike... was Leo telling Raph not to eat so much? Maybe that meant they weren't meant to eat too much food? But there was so much of it!

Hesitantly he took one of the sandwiches and curled up in his chair to eat it, just sitting there and watching the brothers and trying to get a feel for what they were like

Leonardo rolled his eyes. "He does not." The elder said evenly, a grin upon his face. It was nice, they have not joked around in a long time.

When Splinter died, things had been hard. He was their father and master. The old rat raised them well and taught them many things. Dons absence had been hard on him as well, but he did not show it. The old rat hid it behind a mask. Sadly, he died of old age. The years taking its toll on him.

Now the three brothers lived alone, and hopefully they would have a new addition to their family now knowing that Donatello was still alive.  

Raphael grumbled though he said nothing else. Leonardo always chose Mikey's side. It was annoying.

Mikey poked his tongue out teasingly at Raph, knowing that Leo would stand up for him since Raph was always winding him up about his bit of chubb.

Donnie took this time to get a good look around while he wasn't being watched, feeling more relaxed when he was being ignored like usual.

Once he finished his sandwich he didn't grab anything else to eat, but nervously turned to look at Raph. "C.can I have a.a drink?" He wasn't usually given much to drink but they'd given him some water earlier. Hoping that meant that he was allowed more water to drink here. He fidgeted in the seat, worried since there had been times he'd asked in the past and been forced to get on his knees to suck off a foot soldier and swollow his cum as his 'drink'.

Raphael was a little surprised when Donatello turned to him first. Since the smaller seemed to be scared of him. But he did not hesitate. "Ya don't gotta ask Don. Ya can have whatever ya want."

Leonardo frowned when Donatello fidgeted. Though, he was a little happy that they were making some progress. Leo handed Don a pitcher of water and a glass. "I think water would be best."

Raph nodded in agreement, pouring Don the glass and handing it to him, narrowing his eyes at Leo's teasing smirk. "What?"

"You are like a mother hen. How adorable."

"T.thank you." Raph seemed to be the one always around him so he guessed that he was in charge of him? Either way he was always there and nice to him.

Donnie was glad that the glass was poured for him since he was about to drink out of the pitcher that Leo had given him along with the empty glass. He drank the water quickly but not as desperately as before

Raphael smiled in return. Not really sure what to say to that. The large red turtle chugged down the rest of his drink and gathered the rest of his dishes and placed them in the sink.

The hothead returned and smiled again when he poured Donatello another drink, ignoring the looks he was getting. At least Don seemed comfortable around him.

He would take the more relaxed looks then scared ones.

Donnie was making the most of being given so much water, not wasting a drop at looking extremely grateful to Raph each time.

Once he was finished he just sat and waited to be told what to do, not wanting to leave before he was allowed

Raphael stood there for a moment before a thought came to his mind. "Come with me fer a minute." The larger turtle ushered towards the smaller turtle, not waiting for Don to follow him. He could already hear the soft footprints behind him as he led the smaller into his room.

Raph's room was not as big as Dons. It had a hammock, a large shelf with a stereo on it, and other weight lifting equipment.

But there was one particular thing that Raphael wished to show Don. Upon the shelf was a wooden car that looked as though it had been crafted years ago. Raphael had a smile on his face as he placed the wooden car within Donnie's palms. "Ya probably don't rememba but ya made that. Ya yer always good at inventing things. So... I held onta it fer ya. But ya can have it back."

Donnie studied the car carefully. It was beautiful, a bit messy and nowhere near perfect but it was carefully put together even through inexperience. "I.I made this?"

He wasn't sure what to think about this. If they hated him for being so pathetic and weak back then, how had he made something so good, and why did Raph keep it?

Raphael nodded his head, offering a small smile. "Yeah, though ya don't gotta worry about that now." The elder said with a roll of his shoulders, not wanting to put too much pressure on the smaller turtle. Raph had kept that toy because Don had made it for him.

It was something special to their memories and he hoped that it would at least spur up something.

The eldest turtle rubbed the back of his head nervously, not sure on what else to do or to say.

Donnie loved it and held it close like something precious. He did like to make things, the room he slept in the foot wasn't much bigger than a cupboard he but he had made some things that he was proud of over the years...

Had he really gotten that skill here, with his family? "T.thank you" He had tears in his eyes again but this time it was for a different reason, happy that Raph was being so nice to him and given him this gift. He never was given anything before that he could keep

Raphael was taken aback by the tears. He was afraid that he had made him upset again. But, the smaller did not seem to be upset at all.

Donnie looked happy.

Though the crying was awkward and he offered a sheepish smile. "You're welcome." Raphael spoke lowly, patting Don's head. "Ya don't have ta cry though."

"T.thank you." He said again, wanting to do something to show how happy and grateful he was to him, saying thank you wasn't enough as he held the wooden car close to his chest.

Suddenly his eyes brightened as he thought of a way to really show his gratitude. It was what the soldiers made him do to show he was grateful, but this time he wasn't forced, he wanted to do it.

Dropping to his knees Donnie nuzzled against Raphs slit before starting to lap and suck at the lower plastron,  fumbling a little since he was only used to doing this for humans that always had their privates on the outside

Raphael was so distracted by Don's smile that he was confused when Don dropped to his knees. But before he could react, his eyes widened when Donnie got close to his slit and licked it.

This, this should not be happening! Donatello was his brother! His  _ broken  _ brother!

Holding back a moan, Raphael quickly but gently pulled Donatello's face away from his slit, trying to ignore how good it had felt.

"What are ya doin?! Don... This... It's not right." He wanted to get angry, but Donnie did not know what he was doing. Only doing things that the foot had taught him. "Don't. Don't do that."

"I.I wanna show you h.how grateful I.I am... p.please?" He pleaded to pleasure his brother, his hand coming up to cup and rub along his slit since his head was held away from it

Was Raph disgusted by him? Was that why he didn't want him to suck him? His eyes widened in fear at the thought of not even being good enough to pleasure them

Raphael quickly stepped away from Donatello, not at all looking at him, his face etching up in disgust. "Not like that. Brothers, don't show gratitude like that. ‘M sorry."

Raph knew that this would cause Donatello to be closed off again. But he had to stop him. They were brothers. It was not right.

Don needed to understand that. Even if it meant pushing him away.

Donnie's eyes were wide and wet as he suddenly scurried backwards again. Looking at Raph's face all he could see was disgust and it terrified him.

"I.I'm sorry... I'm sorry!" The wooden car dropped to the floor as his hands shook too much to hold it.

His breathing was heavy and he couldn't take it anymore, scared of getting punished by the one he'd started to open up to and he just turned and ran. Skidding out of Raph's room he dove into his own and curled up cowering underneath the bed

Raphael rubbed his face, feeling guilty and upset. He had not meant to hurt him, but the smaller needed to understand. Brothers... They did not do things like that.

....then why was he hating himself for hurting Don and pushing him away like that?

Not able to take it anymore, Raphael had to get away and he barged out of his room.

Leonardo rose to his seat, calling after Donatello on deaf ears but was confused when Raph stormed out as well. "What's going on?"

"Don't worry about it." Raphael hissed and left the lair. He needed to blow off some steam and to erase the images in his head.

Leo looked towards Michelangelo and then to Donnie's room. What just happened?

Mikey looked towards Donnie's room worriedly before turning back to Leo. "We need to make sure he's ok." And with that Mikey rushed off to check on his broken brother, worried even more when he didn't see him in his nest

 

"Donatello?" Leonardo called out, but no sound came. The larger turtle searched the room and frowned when he found him under the bed, curled in on himself and looked scared.

The broken turtle was dead silent, having learnt to be quiet to keep himself hidden and out of sight when he was scared of punishment. Raph had spent the most time with him and been so nice, but now he was disgusted by him.

"Donatello, are you alright?" But he received no answer, sharing worried looks with his youngest sibling. 

 

\-------------

 

Raphael did not return until the dead of the night. He was bruised, but the anger he felt had vanished. The hothead had took a step in the room and sighed when the light flickered on and he was face-to-face with a more than pissed off Leonardo. He knew what was coming.

"I'm fine, Leo."

"Cut the bullshit, Raph." Leonardo snapped, knowing very well that something had happened between Donatello and Raphael. "What did you do to him?"

"What? I didn't do anything ta him!" Raphael shouted, defending his broken brother. Raph understood now that what happened back there was not Dons fault. Raphael should have handled it better.

"I gave him. The toy car and he freaked out. End of story."

Leonardo was suspicious, though he bought it for now. He would get the truth out not Raph sooner or later. "I told you slow steps."

"I know, I fucked up, can I sleep now?"

Leo huffed as he watched Raphael walk away. The hothead's anger always got the best of him.

Raphael's sleep was restless. At first it was calm and without dreams but now, now he was dreaming of a body hovering over his own. It was a shadowy figure and he could not make out the shape or anything else.

Soft hands caressed his skin, causing his body lots and lots of pleasure. A moan escaped him and the body above his continued to pleasure him. It wasn't until he was met with brown eyes and olive green skin did he awake with a jolt. 

Raphael panted and his eyes scanned the room. His body was sweaty and he rubbed a hand over his face. He was just about to lay back down when he heard a petrified scream.

_ Donatello _ . 


	6. Chapter 6

Donnie had moved his nest under his bed to sleep in, feeling a little safer underneath it then out in the open.

His sleep was troubled and he was crying out loudly in distressing nightmares. He dreamed a mess of abuse and memories, remembering playing and living with his brothers briefly but then his mind twisted the truth and he saw them turn into huge monsters that towered over him and abused him. He awoke with a scream as his mind dreamed him being pushed into the dark sewer waters to die by his family that was meant to love him.

Raph quickly got out of bed and ran into the smaller's room, turning on the light. "Donnie?! Where are ya?!" The larger turtle searched under the bed and his heart broke when he seen Don so scared and quickly pulled him out from under the bed and into his protective arms. Shielding him from the dark and sick world.

"Donatello?" Leonardo called out, only to stop at the doorway web he seen Raphael rocking the smaller within his arms. His heart breaking at the tears and the fear on Donnie's face.

Donnie was struggling to get away, still in the mindset of his nightmare where these same brothers had been so cruel and left him for dead.

"P.please. I.i'm sorry.." He was crying hysterically and managed to get out of Raph's arms and scramble back under the 'safety' of the bed whimpering with wide brown eyes horrified and scared to be near them. "I.ill be good!"

Raphael was stunned. What was Don talking about? Why was he moving away from him?

Guilt. That was what Raphael felt. He was supposed to be the older brother and protect his younger brothers. Instead he had hurt Donnie and now he did not wish to be near him

But he had to try.

Raphael looked under the bed, a frown on his face. "Don? It's us... It was a nightmare. We won't hurt ya."

"Left me... H.hurt me... I.i'll be good now.... P.please. I be good!" He begged scared that they would pull him back out to punish him for hiding. He knew Raph was disgusted at him so why did he want to touch him?

Were they going to do the same to him now if he wasn't good? Throw him into the deep black sewers to die all over again.

"What? What are ya talking about? I didn't -" Raphael trailed off when Leonardo grabbed him by the shoulder. "Raph, you are only making it worse."

"But ya don't understand. He doesn't understand. I -"

"Raph, he's scared. You are only making it worse. Give him some space." Leonardo had a feeling something more was going on. But he would talk to Raphael about that later.  Right now, they just needed to be here for Don, as much as they were allowed.

Donnie curled up in a little shaking ball like a frightened child, eyes wide and not moving as he kept a close watch on both turtles incase they made to grab him. The fact that this was meant to be his family made it worse, all he knew about his family was the lies that he was told all his life.

The only sounds he was making was soft whimpers as he cried hysterically, struggling to breath in his hysteria but calming down a little when no one made to grab or punish him

It broke Raphael's heart to listen to Donatello's cries. He wanted to hold him, protect him, shield him from all the wrongs within the world.  

He had no idea where these feelings had come from, but they burned strongly within his chest. But, as much as he hated to say it, Leonardo was right; Donnie needed space and at least some form of comfort that did not involve physical comfort.

The two stayed with Don throughout the night, not once leaving his side. Being there for their little brother.

Donnie slowly calmed down and his crying turned silent, just staying curled up under the bed. This to him seemed like his only safe place where he could go, slowly crawling back into his nest that was also now under the bed.

He didn't know how he felt about the fact that they didn't leave him alone and just sat there watching him

Raphael opened up his mouth to say something, but then stopped and honestly thought about it for a second. "I'm sorry." Raph spoke softly, before slowly removing himself from the floor. Donatello wanted space and he would give him that. But it hurt, knowing that the smaller turtle was back to not trusting him anymore.

 

\------------

 

The next day Leonardo sat at the dining room table drinking his tea, having not been able to sleep that night. Donatello nor Raphael had yet to leave their rooms. Michelangelo was in the kitchen with him making breakfast, shrugging when he asked what happened.

"Don had a nightmare and was afraid to let us touch him nor talk to him. Though, it affected Raph the most."

Just then, Raphael walked out of his room, his face and body heavy as he made his way into the kitchen, frowning as he looked at Donnie's room.

This was all his fault.

Donnie had eventually cried himself to sleep and slept for a few hours while tossing and turning in the bedding.

When he woke up he was a bit better, still nervous and not comfortable with leaving the room without being told to. He needed the toilet though and last time they had gotten angry that he'd wet his bedding...

Slowly and still shaking he got up and rushed off to the toilet

Leonardo looked up from drinking his tea and blinked when he seen Donatello rush into the bathroom. He was glad that he was using it on his own. But he frowned when he came out with tear tracks on his face.

Raphael turned around then, guilt on his face when he seen Donatello. Though he tried to keep cool. "Hey, are ya okay?" He asked from across the room, giving Donnie the first move.

The smaller was allowed to do as he pleased. But for some reason, Raph honestly hoped that Donnie would not be afraid of him anymore and come join him.

Donnie had been hoping to just go to the bathroom and then back to his room unnoticed but he'd been seen and now didn't know what to do about it.

He fidgeted on the spot for a moment and only answered Raph by nervously nodding his head. Should he go over and join them or just go back to him room?

Slowly and looking very much like a frightened deer that could run at any second he made his way into the kitchen. He seemed to take a step forwards in his process and then two steps back, nervously taking a couple of biscuits but then sitting on the floor to eat them like he'd had to do in the foot, even though so far he'd sat at the table with the others since he'd been here.

Raphael watched him and sighed. It was his fault, he needed to fix this. The larger turtle rose to his seat and tilted his head for Donatello to follow him.

He knew that this was a lost cause, but he had to. Raph could not bare to see the hurt on Don's face anymore. The hurt that he had caused.

Raphael could tell that Donatello was scared and spoke as quietly and clearly as possible. "About last night... I'm sorry. I Neva meant ta hurt ya. I should have handled it betta. Just... Don't be afraid. I won't do anything ta ya, I promise."

Donnie started shaking again as Raph gestured for him to follow, scared of being alone with Raph now that he knew how disgusted the other was by the thought of Donnie touching him. He was too pathetic and freakish to touch his brother, that must be why he was abandoned.

He whimpered throughout Raphs apologies but only nodded his head, not wanting to disagree or go against Raph's wishes and looking tense like he was expecting punishments

Raphael frowned as he watched Donatello. Not liking how scared he looked or how badly he was shaking.

Raph was the older brother. He was supposed to make his younger brothers feel safe and protected. But he had screwed up big time last night.

And now, Donnie was too afraid to be near him. All because Raphael had not thought with his head. Without saying anything, Raph pulled Don into a gentle hug before he slowly pulled away, not wanting Donnie to feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry."

Donnie had panicked when Raph reached out to him and grabbed him, but after a quick hug he was let go and stumbled back away from him, looking confused.

Why was he apologizing? Apologizing to Donnie! He wasn't important enough to apologize to. "S.stop... D.don't apologize..." He whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself tightly. "I.i was bad"

Raphael shook his head. No, Don had done nothing wrong. Yes, he should not have done that to Raph, but Donnie did not know what he was doing.

Donatello was broken.

"No, ya did nothing wrong. Ya didn’t know what ya were doing. I shouldn't have treated ya like that." Raphael spoke honestly once more, looking Don square in the face. Letting the smaller know that he was not at all disgusted by him, but was someone that he could trust. Someone he could depend on. And Raph was willing to be there for him, no matter what.

Don did not have to be afraid, not anymore.

Raph didn't look disgusted at him anymore but... why was apologizing? Donatello was trash, a weak, pathetic freak that didn't deserve nice things and apologies because he was lucky enough just to be alive he was so worthless.

"I.i was trying t.to thank y.you" Donnie explained quietly. "I... W.wanted to.. I'm sorry." He stuttered in his soft almost too quiet voice, not understanding what he did wrong

Unfortunately for Raph Donnie wasn't easy to trust anyone once he was scared of them for something, always skittish and jumpy around them because he expected to be punished or beaten the next time they felt like it.

Raphael shook his head, his face heavy with guilt. No, Don should not have to apologize for something that he should have handled better.

Raph was the older one. Hewas supposed to take responsibility. Donnie should not be apologizing. The larger turtle should be.

"Don't be sorry, Don." The hothead spoke quietly, a frown upon his face. "I knew ya meant well. Just -" Raphael dropped the conversation for now and just stood there for a few moments.

It was awkward. Not just because of the situation, but because of his dream last night. And now looking at Don was doing something to him that he could not explain.

Donnie fidgeted but didn't argue anymore, by trying to apologize he was just going to make Raph angrier. He very really saw guilt on any of the human's face and didn't understand the look on Ralph's face was, he hoped it wasn't bad

He had meant well! He didn't know what he did wrong. Did he not do it right? He was only used to humans not turtles so maybe... "I.i meant for i.it to f.feel good... D.did I do... wrong?" He asked nervously, hoping that was all it was, he hadn't understood how to pleasure another turtle since he didn't have much experiance with himself

Raphael's first initiative was to say 'yes', but images flashed through his mind and he quickly shook his head, running a hand over his face. What was he doing?

He should not be thinking about Don like that!

This was was awkward. What was he supposed to say, no? He didn't know. "Well... I guess I - showing gratitude is not just about pleasure Don." Raph spoke honestly, trying to fight off the images of his dream and last night. 

"It's - um... Ya can show Gratitude with a hug or just simply saying thank ya." He spoke nervously, this was so awkward and images continued to swim through his head, but he needed to stay focused.

"I.i said t.thank you but... It d.didn't f.feel enough..." His eyes widened looking confused and scared, Raph has looked so disgusted at him when he'd tried. "D.dont you... I.i'm sorry..."

He'd spoken too much, wasn't supposed to talk or think. He was just meant to follow orders but he was never given any here. He didn't know what was expected of him or what the rules are. "Y.you didn't W.want me to... I.i'm not good f.for much else."

The only thing that he was ever taught to be good at was pleasing his master, and now he wasn't even good at doing that. He feel even more worthless and pathetic now and just fidgeted on the spot looking down at the floor waiting to be told what to do.

Raphael was at a loss for words. This is why he barely said anything. Actions spoke louder than words. But it was hard to show Don when the smaller always got the wrong idea whenever they tried to do something.

Raph just continued to dig himself a bigger hole.

He was fidgeting as well. He was not good with words and just wanted Donnie to understand. "Yer not a slave here Don. Ya are not obligated ta give us anything." He said honestly, stepping on one foot to another.

This was not like him, since when did he get nervous? What was the smaller doing to him?

"M not good with words Don. One day ya will understand betta." Raphael spoke with a forced smile, patting Donnie on the head. "Get some rest Don." Raph spoke softly and left the smaller's room for the bathroom

He was in need of a cold shower.

Donnie understood the head pat as praise and soaked it up like sponge, nuzzling into his hand like a pet asking for attention. He wasn't stupid though, despite what people thought of him he was secretly very aware and intelligent in certain things, like body language. He knew that Raph was uncomfortable with him and had forced a smile to pretend that he wasn't.

Not knowing what to do he just sat down on the floor to try and think about what had happened and what he'd done wrong, wondering why his brothers didn't want to use him

After taking a shower, Raphael had busied himself by working on his weight lifting equipment. It was hard to focus still. Those wide brown eyes looking down at him... A soft pink blush on olive cheeks... A warm and needy smile...

Raph groaned and got up from his workbench and just sat there, panting and unfocused. What was he doing? These thoughts... They were wrong.

Then why didn't they feel wrong?

Leonardo walked into Raphael's room, standing at the doorway. This was unlike Raph. He seemed more unfocused than usual. "So are you going to finally tell me what happened last night?"

Raphael scoffed and looked away. "I told ya what happened. Now he's scared again."

Leo sighed, knowing there was more but Raph still refused to tell him. "I told you, baby steps. I know you meant well, but he doesn't understand Raph."

Mikey came in and sat down on the end of Raphs weight bench to join the conversation. "I gave Don a bottle of water, but he's just sat on the floor and looks like he's sulking... did something happen?"

He had gotten worried seeing Donnie like that and once he realised that Leo was in Raph's room he felt like he needed to get involved before those two started fighting again, which was pretty common

Raphael sighed, his features laced with guilt as he ran a hand over his face. What really happened last night was between Donatello and himself. Leonardo and Michelangelo would freak out and that was something he did not want.

It was his job to protect Don as he was his older brother and take responsibility for him.

"I messed up. Ya know that wooden car I had all these years? Well, Don made that when we were kids. He made it fer me when mine broke. So I gave it to him an' I think it was too much for him and he ran off."

Leonardo looked towards Donatello's room from where he stood at Raph's doorway. "And what did the two of you talk about a little while ago?"

Raph scoffed. Leo being nosey was annoying. "I tried ta apologize. It didn't go well.  I should probably check on him..."

"Don  _ made _ that car?" Mikey had assumed that like all their other toys that car had just been found in the sewers, though this made sense why Raph treasured it so much all these years.

"Wow... He must have been really smart to make something like that." Mikey couldn't remember much about him but looking at the car, that had now been put back in its place on Raphs shelf, it was amazing it Don had made that as a child!

"He was." Raphael said with a soft smile. "He made other little toys too. But that was the only one that didn’t get left behind or lost." Though, that was because that wooden car was special to his heart.

"It's hard ta see him now. So broken and so unsure of everything..."

"All we can do is be here for him as much as we can. Donatello just needs time." Leonardo spoke honestly. In all actuality, he had no idea that Don had made that car.

After all these years and Leo still felt more separated from his brothers.

Mikey smiled softly as well, trying to imagine what it must have been like with the four of them instead of just three

"I wonder if he remembers anything... He seems to just accept the way they treated him. He didn't even make too much fuss when we brought him here considering everything he's been through." He pointed out hoping that could help in some way. 

Apart from his initial freakout when they brought him here he hadn't shown any signs of wanting to go back, or that he didn't want to be here, the only thing he kept mentioning was his grubby old collar they had taken from him

"I don't think he does. He might remember some things but not everything. Donatello, we don't really know what he has been through during his time with the foot. Besides the rape and abuse."

Both older turtles scowled to this. Shredder would be getting a taste of his own medicine soon.

"He just does what he is told. Neva does anything fer himself. All his life, fer what it was at the foot, he has been told what ta do. So he is confused and unsure of what ta do." Raphael said sadly.

"Maybe once he is more comfortable around all of us, we can ask him more questions about what happened."

For now, healing was key.

"I heard him going to the bathroom by himself. That some improvement at least right?" Mikey always tried to be optimistic, it made him sick to think of how anyone could treat a living thing the way Donnie had been treated with those humans.

It actually put Mikey off humans a little, which was saying something since he'd always wished he could be like them

 

Leonardo frowned to what Michelangelo said next. No one wanted donnie to be like this. They should have known sooner.  Leo walked over to Mikey and hugged him gently, Raphael and himself sharing their own guilty and sad looks.

"Yes. Little things like that is showing great progress. But it will probably take months to a year for everything to finally soak in that he is no longer in danger."

"Hopefully he'll get used to us soon. I always wanted a little brother, but not like this..." Mikey sighed sadly, feeling guilty for not even remembering him much, and that they hadn't known to do anything about it before now

"He _is_ slowly. We just need to give him time. He just needs rest and to regain his health. I noticed he had put on a little weight, but it's still a long ways to go."

Mikey hugged Leo back tightly, letting his oldest brother comfort him physically as well. The foot were going to pay for doing this to their little brother, Mikey wasn't a violent person, but he hadn't thought twice about killing the ones that he's seen abusing him. He'd kill anyone he thought would harm his family if he had too.

"I... Don't think he really understand that he's not in danger... He'd always done things a certain way and doesn't understand that they're wrong and degrading to him..."

Leonardo held Mikey as tightly as he could, a frown marred onto his face. Everything the smaller had just said was the truth. Although they teased Mikey all the time for his silly actions, Michelangelo was actually quite smart as well and very understanding of others.

"We will just have to make him understand. But _slowly_." Leo put emphasis on the last part as he looked towards Raphael

Raph got the message and grunted as he stood up. "I'll go check up on him." 

Mikey was a very emotional person, hated seeing anyone on pain. and seeing someone who was a brother suffering like this was slowly killing him on the inside. "He's gonna be ok... He has to be." His voice was firm with no room for failure, they needed to get their brother back so he could meet him properly, the way he was meant be and not this hollow shell

"He will be." Leonardo promised. "Because we will be there for him every step of the way. He is not alone anymore."


	7. Chapter 7

The larger turtle left his room and walked into Donnie's frowning when he was still sitting on the floor, not at all moving

"Don?"

At the sound of his name Donnie jumped and scrambled to his feet ready to obey whatever orders he was given, looking like he'd been doing something wrong just by sitting there staring into space.

Raphael blinked in confusion when the smaller quickly stood up, looking as though he was going to be punished.

It hurt to see him like this.

"Easy, ya didn't do anything. Was just checkin up on ya. Relax." Raphael mumbled, feeling guilty for scaring him.

He didn't do anything wrong? Maybe Raph hadn't noticed that he was deep in thought when he wasn't allowed to think for himself.

Just checking up on him? Why would... oh. To make sure he hadn't left the room... "S.sorry... I.i'm not g.going anywhere"

"Huh? What are ya on about?" Then Raphael understood. Donatello probably thought that he was not allowed to leave the room and Raph sighed.

"That wasn't what I meant." He said softly, rubbing the back if his head. Don was only keeping to himself, perhaps barging in on him like that was stupid. But for some reason, he just felt like he needed to be near the smaller turtle.

"Sorry fer buggin ya." He spoke softly, meeting Don's eyes and having to look away, fighting off a blush. This was bad. Very bad.

Dons wide brown eyes stayed looking just as confused, he didn't understand at all. How could Raph be bugging him when Donnie was here to do whatever they asked of him. "S.sorry... y.you aren't b.bugging me"

Raph couldn't even look at him, but he looked embarrassed. Did he want something but not want to ask? "I.is there s.something I c.can do f.for you?"

Raphael's blush was as clear as day now at Donatello's question. So many naughty images ran through his head.

Stop it!

"N.no." Raphael said quickly, fidgeting from where he stood. He couldn't even look Don in the face! He needed to stop!

Raph coughed awkwardly, those big brown eyes had powers over him that he could not explain. Raphael was at a loss for what to do and left it up to Don to decide on what his next move should be.

"P.please... I.i want to d.do something..." No one had gotten him to serve them yet and he was worried that they were too disgusted at him to let him.

He nervously got closer and nuzzled his plastron before dropping back to his knees to tend to his slit. He needed this to know he was good at  _ something _ . He wasn't good for anything else

Raphael's eyes widened when Donatello dropped to his knees, nuzzling his slit. Oh, the images were back and they were faster than before. He should stop this. But something was holding him back.

"Donnie?" Raphael asked breathlessly, his face flushed. This... He should not be allowing this. He should not be feeling like this. But, it felt good.

"P.please? I.i want t.to do this..." He looked up with those pleading brown eyes as he started to lap at the slit sensually. "D.does it f.feel good?" He sounded a little worried, having never done this to someone who's penis was hidden away before, he didn't know how it felt.

All common sense was out the window as Donatello continued to lap at his slit. Raphael did not say anything and gasped as he instantly became hard, his cock slowly peeking through the slit. Deep, deep down in his mind he knew he should not be doing this. He should stop Don, but he couldn't. All he could focus on was those deep brown eyes and he found himself lost in them.

Donnie pulled back a moment to watch Raph slipping out of his plastron, it was so weird to see someone else doing that. He'd started to think he was the only freak in the world surrounded by all those humans

Raph was a lot bigger than the humans he'd done this to... but that just meant he could deep throat right?

He licked all over it first before licking his lips, putting on a show because people tended to like that and it made them cum quicker. Once his lips and the thick length were both slicked with his saliva he took the head into his mouth to suckle while keeping eye contact, constantly aware and ready to pull away if he did something wrong

Raphael let out a low moan, his eyes never once leaving Donatello's face. Watching as the smaller slowly took his length into his hot and wet cavern. The hothead had masturbated before, but he had never experienced something like this.

His eyes suddenly fluttered closed, his lips parted as low churrs and groans escaped his mouth. Whatever Don was doing, it felt good and he wanted more.

Donnie was encouraged by the moans and churrs, loving the sound of churring since he barely even heard his own, it was so different to all the human noises and he felt like he wanted to hear more, taking as much into his mouth as he could before moaning around it to cause vibrations.

He knew he was good with human penises, but now he knew he was good with turtles too, happy now that he was indeed good at something and Raph no longer looked disgusted, he looked pleasured like he should be.

Raphael groaned as the vibrations caused his cock to twitch and to surprisingly harden even more within that sweet mouth. Raph was too far gone within his pleasure to even care at this point.

This was his first time experiencing something like this. And it felt amazing. Now he knew how all the humans felt in the magazines and movies.

"Ah~" Raphael churred, urging Don for more.

He wanted it.

Needed it.

Donnie didn't disappoint, churring himself as he started to bob his head up and down the thick pillar of meat in his mouth, lapping at the tip when ever he drew back.

The olive turtle started squirming and suddenly looked confused  as he started to harden himself. He'd never gotten hard from a blowjob before! Maybe it was Raph's churring, or the blissful look on his face, but now he wanted more, putting even more life into his blowjob and bring his hand up to hold the base as he sucked hard.

Nervously he reached up to touch his tail as well, more timid there since he'd never experienced a tail that wasn't his own

Raphael let out a loud moan as Donatello sucked hard around the base and tip of his cock. It felt amazing. Raph brought his hand down to caress Don's face, only to pull back in surprise when his tail was grabbed, eyes wide, though not of fear.

Raphael had no idea how sensitive it was until now. The hothead churred as he held himself back from bucking into Don's mouth and the hand on his tail, he could feel his release coming on and his dick twitched in the smaller's mouth.

"Don~"

Donnie leaned into the hand softly stroking the side of his face, he liked to be praised and this was always an endearing way to praise him.

He was ignoring his own growing problem in his shell to concentrate completely on pleasuring Raph who seemed to love having his tail touched as much as he used to.

The abused turtle had gotten good at being able to tell when people were close, but instead of pulling back he wrapped his lips tighter around it to sucke even harder to draw it out, ready to swallow everything he was given

With one final suck on his cock and tug on his tail, Raphael came. His hot and sticky seed filling the smaller's mouth as it came out in waves. 

The larger turtle stood there panting, allowing Donnie to milk him all that he was worth before he sunk to his knees as well.

The hothead took deep breaths to get air back into his lungs. After all, it was his first blowjob and it took a lot out of him.

Once he had calmed down, a blissful look was on his face and he churred as the others arousal wafted through his nose, the scent was intoxicating and sweet.

Raph's mind was foggy and he slowly reached for the smaller's slit.

Donnie left his mouth open once he'd pulled off, showing Raph that he had swallowed it all like a good little slut, that was what he was usually called after sucking off the humans.

He whimpered for a completely different reason as Raph reached out and touched his swollen slit, instently opening to revealt his olive penis already half hard. "S.stop... y.you don't h.have to..." He was cut off by his own churring, looking at Raph with surprise and awe.

No one ever pleasured Donnie unless there was something in it for them, or it was humiliation by making him wear a cock ring and pleasuring him until he went mad with the need to release.

Raphael shook his head. He wanted to do this. It was not right that Raph got to experience a wonderful release and Don had not. It was the alpha male in him, wanting to please the smaller as he had done for him.

The larger turtle gripped the base and slowly ran his thumb along the tip. It was odd touching someone else's cock than his own, but it felt good. And don's scent was very strong and intoxicating. It made his mouth water.

Raph moved his hand slowly on the smaller's cock, inexperienced but trying to make it pleasurable.

Donnie squirmed and churred out in bliss. He didn't get pleasured like this and despite everything he'd done he still wasn't that experienced in being pleasured by other people. It felt so much better than his own hand.

Mostly out of habit he lay back on his shell, legs spread for Raph to get between them, but given him a better angle to work his bruised cock. He was glad that Raph was being gentle since he was really sensitive until his bruises healed up

Raphael paid no mind to the inviting position. Only wanting to give Donatello pleasure. Raph slowly rubbed his thumb around the tip, churring at the little noises Don was making.

The elder could feel himself become hard again, but he ignored it. This was about Donatello and not himself.

Feeling a little bolder, Raphael worked his hand faster, but was still gentle as to not hurt the bruised member.

Dons face was twisted in pleasure, eyes closing and hips lifting up automatically into the gentle but quick pumps.

His churrs were soft but seemed to echo through the room. For once Donatello didn't look so much like an abused child, all fear and suffering washed away by the simple handjob that meant so much more to someone who had only ever been hurt from sexual things

Raphael churred deeply, proud that he was making the smaller below him feel so good.

The larger turtle worked his hand a little quicker, smearing the pre that leaked from the head around the whole organ and worked his hand until Don was close to his release.

It didn't take long for Donnie to be panting out as he get close, feeling his release come close and prayed that he was allowed it.

Suddenly he reached his peak and arched his back as much as his shell would allow, emptying himself in Raph's hand with a soft cry of "Mmmmaster!~"

Raphael removed his hand after that, reality crashing down at him like a slap to the face. The larger turtle finally realized what had just taken place and ran a hand over his face.

He had just....

He had just shared pleasurable feelings and done naughty things with his little brother.

Oh god.

He was a monster! Raph quickly cleaned off his hand, eyes wide and panting heavily.

"Don, I'm so sorry, I -"

Donnie was too far basking in his first pleasureable after glow to notice Raphs panic. It was strange to see him smiling, albeit a very goofy pleasured smile as he stared up at the ceiling in bliss and still churring softly for a few moments after.

It wasn't until he heard Raph apologize that he woke up from his little sex haze and his eyes widened.

"D.did I d.do do bad?" Was he not meant to enjoy it... Raphs face was anything but happy and pleased and Donnie's happy mood came crashing down at the look on Raphs face.

Maybe it was because he'd called him master... He didn't even think, it just came out naturally. Raph was the one who was always with him, watched over him while he slept, helped him with his food and was just always there to help and make sure he was ok. It made sense for him to be master...

Raphael did not want Donatello to think that he was using him. Maybe he had given in which he shouldn't have, but it wasn't like that at all! Just, those big brown eyes looking up at him stopped him from saying no.

"N.No Don, I just - I never wanted ta use ya. I'm sorry if I forced you to do that. I'm sorry." Raphael was not at all disgusted, though it was easy to tell how guilty he felt. As though he was the bad guy. For seducing his little brother.

"I never meant ta hurt ya. I'm sorry."

"I.i wanted to... y.you didn't h.hurt me... M.master..." He wasn't sure if Raph liked being called by his title but it just felt right.

He crawled towards Raph and just leaned against him, nuzzling at his chest like an affectionate pet. "I.i never f.felt that g.good before" He told Raph while nuzzling and curling up against him. That release was the most powerful he'd ever came, and Raph hadn't even hurt his bruised cock at all despite how sensitive and sore it usually got afterwards.

Raphael made an odd face at the name. No. This was not what he wanted. Donatello should not be calling him that.

The hothead felt his heart beat fast as that little body crawled up next to him, nuzzling him. Donatello was his little brother. And yet, what the two of them had just shared, it did not feel wrong at all. It felt so right.

"M not yer master Don. Yer not a sex slave anymore. But, what we just did, we cannot tell the others; okay?"

"I.i'd like you t.to be master..." Donnie frowned, pressing a little closer to Raph. "I.i c.cant tell anyone?"

He wouldn't tell anyone if Raph didn't want him too, but he did like calling him Master, shifting a little against Raph as he carefully tucked himself back into his plastron, being careful of his bruises.

nodded his head slowly. There was no turning back now. The smaller was no longer just his little brother. The two of them had just shared something that only two beings that were in love should share.

"I don't wanna be as someone who uses ya Don. And yes, we cannot tell Mikey or Leo what just happened between us." Raphael spoke softly, honestly a little glad that Don was opening up to him.

But now things were going to get even more complicated.

"O.ok... I won't t.tell?" He promised, just wanting to stay close and feeling a little safer now that he'd been given pleasure by Raph and not pain.

He had no understanding or concept of love, to him sex was just something that people do, for lot of different reasons. Because he was so weak and pathetic he needed to show his worth with sex because he was good at it, he wasn't good for much else so he needed to show that he could do it well.

Raphael nodded and held Donatello close. He knew that what they had done was wrong and would confuse Don, but there was no turning back now.

The hothead stayed there for a few more minutes before his stomach grumbled. All he had had that day was breakfast and after their little 'session' his stomach felt empty and he blushed in slight embarrassment, but he did not move, afraid to ruin the moment.

Raph had never done or felt this way about someone before and he did not want to ruin it. Even if these feelings they had were wrong. The hothead did not care.

Donnie was comfortable laying like this, happy to just stay here until he was made to leave, jumping when Raphs stomach grumbled against him.

He'd had breakfast with them and a sandwich for lunch but now he'd just swallowed cum and that had always been treated as him 'eating' so he wasn't really wanting food now.

"Sorry." Raphael mumbled, though he really did not make any move to get up. But there was something he had to ask. Something he had to know.

Did Donnie really not remember anything from the past? Or had Shredder brainwashed him so bad to the point where he did not wish to remember?

"Can I ask ya something? Do ya, do ya really not remember anything from before? Being a kid I mean."

Donnie whimpered and curled up tighter. "L.left me... A.alone... S.shredder found m.me... S.saved me..." He owed Shredder his life as far as he knew. His memory was hazy at best of when he was 'found', taken from his family and spending the first few years claiming that his family would come and get him. But they never did.

He didn't want to remember earlier than that. If his family could kick him out to die as a child then they couldn't have loved him back then... Why did they bring him back though if they didn't care..

Raphael felt his blood boil, though he tried his best not to scare the smaller turtle. Shredder, that fucking bastard! Raph knew it, the asshole had brainwashed Donnie into believing they had abandoned him and did not love him.

"Shredder is not yer savior. He is a demon. A treacherous snake. He used ya, lied ta ya, made ya believe that ya were nothing more than a pet and a toy. We searched for ya for years Don. Ya went out one day and neva came back. We searched everywhere fer ya. It was hard, but we had no choice ta believe ya were dead. If only we had known... I had known... We would have searched through that building from the very beginning. And nothing I could say could get rid of the pain you have been through. I just wish it had been me instead. Not ya."

Donnie was shaking now in Raph's arms, confused and not understanding.

"H.how do I k.know the t.truth." He's been raised thinking that his family hated them, but Raph seemed sincere about caring him and he liked cuddling up with him now.

His head hurt with the two conflicting truths and suddenly he whined out and grabbed his head as pain shot through his head. He could see flashes of memories and the flashbacks were painful.

He saw quick flashes of life with three brothers. Playing. sat around a book. A giant rat... Their father! Not seeing or thinking about them long enough to really understand because the pain from his conflictions were hurting. "M.master!"

Raphael was about to answer Donatello when the smaller turtle had suddenly grabbed his head, looking as though he was in pain.

The way Don had his hand covering his head and leaning over, made the larger turtle worried. What was going on?

"Donatello? What's wrong?" Raph asked softly, trying his best to not let the name affect him.

"H.hurts... C.confused..." He cried out doubled over with his head in his hands, the images and sounds were going to fast now for him to make out and his head felt like it was splitting in two.

He remembered being happy, a long time ago. With his family? But he also remembered pain and couldn't tell when that started. Was Raph telling the truth? Or was his old Master telling the truth.

He owed it to the foot. They raised him, gave him somewhere to sleep and food and drink... Though now he was realizing that maybe it wasn't enough since... His brother. Gave him a lot more.

Raphael bit his lip. Perhaps he had said too much too soon? Yes, he probably had. But perhaps it was a good thing? Maybe he could finally get Don to understand?

Raph slowly reached out and patted Donatello's shell. Giving him comfort as much as he knew how to. This was not Raph's scene. But Don needed him and he was willing to be there for him.

The larger turtle was confused though when Don suddenly looked stunned and realization was slowly forming on the smaller's face.

"Don?"

Donnie was still whimpering and seemed in pain but. His brothers were telling the truth? Shredder had lied to him... All his life was a lie...

That only made him cry harder and he stayed curled up against Raph. He now knew that that everything he knew was a lie and he was left feeling numb, it was too much too soon for the poor abused turtle and he feel woozy and faint, leaning against Raph as his body went slightly more limp

He didn't know anything, he was literally no one. Who he'd thought he was was built on a lie and who he used to be was gone long ago.

Raphael frowned at the tears and pulled Donatello closer until he was lying upon his lap and Raph was cradling him in his arms like a child.

That was how small Don was compared to him. Like a child. Though it was obvious he was an adult now. But years of abuse and malnutrition had caused the turtle to be smaller and thinner. Don would need to eat more if not as much as a sumo wrestler in order to get his strength back.

Raph just held the turtle, until he began to panic when Don went limp within his arms. "Donnie?!" The hothead called out, beyond worried and gently shook the smaller turtle.

Donnie lay in his little ball in Raph's lap, his eyes closed tightly with his painful flashbacks and numbing realisation.

He felt comforted wrapped up in Raph's arms, not getting any affection at the foot his just clung to any affection he was given, resting his head against the largests emerald thigh

It wasn't the first time Donnie had passed out, but usually it was from drugs or pain, slowly fading into unconsciousness and gripping onto Raph's leg until he went completely limp, eyes closed and breathing deeply in his reluctant sleep


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided that I won't be posting a chapter everyday because the editing for this one is really draining, it's taking a lot longer to clean and split into decent sized chapters then I had thought. It will still be updated regularly but unfortunatly I can't keep up with every single day with this. Life and other projects keep pulling me away.

Raphael was at a loss for what to do. He wanted to go to Michelangelo or Leonardo for help, but the thought made him cringe. Raph, the ever bold hothead, did not ask for help.

The elder did not leave the smaller's side. Fearing that whatever progress they had been trying to make would be lost at a blink of an eye. Raphael was at least relieved to know that Don did not look in pain, but he was still worried.

Raph stayed with him all day and night, not at all moving until the said turtle decided to wake up. He would never make the smaller feel abandoned again.

Early the next morning Donnie finally started to stir awake, holding onto the closest thing to him that happened to be Raph and not his blankets.

His head was still aching and his sleep had been plagued with weird dreams and nightmares that had him crying out on minute and then silent and looking peaceful the next.

Raphael had not gotten much sleep. Though he instantly awoke in a small fright when something or someone grabbed onto him.

Raph's heart about jumped right out of his chest, but he slowly calmed down once he realized that it was only Donatello and managed a small smile when he seen that he was starting to wake up and nudged him gently.

"Donnie? Are ya okay?"

"H.hurts..." Donnie complained while rubbing his head. He still had a bad headache but was too tired and trying not to think about why that was, though obviously it wasn't easy.

He didn't ask for painkillers since he wasn't usually allowed them unless he had a bad injury or something and then it was only if people were feeling generous

Raphael frowned to this and knew what he needed to do. The hothead gently lifted Don and had him lay on the bed. "Wait here. I will be back in a minute." raph silently left the smaller's room and headed into the bathroom. The larger turtle went through the medicine cabinet and pulled out some aspirin.

Raphael silently made his way back into the room, pills and a glass of water in hand he had snatched from the kitchen.

"Take this." Raph pressed gently, helping Don sit up.

For once Donnie stayed on the bed instead of struggling to the floor to get to his nest under the bed. When Raph came back he tried to smile but scooted away with wide eyes when he saw the little white pills.

"D.dont want t.to be d.drugged..." He pleaded, showing that he was used to being drugged up by the humans, he still was a little scared of things that weren't going to happen anymore

Raphael was shocked when Don pulled away so quickly. The fear in Donnie's eyes worried him.

The hothead frowned deeply and tried not to growl at the images of the foot drugging the poor innocent turtle.

Raph slowly shook his head and tried to stay focus. "It's for yer headache Don. I told ya ba'fore. No one will hurt ya here. But if you still feel unsafe about taking them then I understand."

Donnie really wasn't sure about taking pills, it very rarely turned out well for him... But Raph was his Master now, He wouldn't hurt him. Right?

He took the cup of water and drank a little while still staring at the tablets. Slowly he reached out and took them, swallowing them down before curling back up on the bed, keeping his eyes on Raph

Raphael watched as Don seemed to be having an argument within his head. Just as he was about to pull the pills away from him, Don had reached out and grabbed them. Drinking the water he was given to wash it down.

Though, the hothead rubbed the back of his head nervously, his cheeks turning a light pink as those big brown eyes looked up at him, obviously wondered what the larger turtle's move would be next. Or, did Don want him to lay down next to him? He wasn't sure.

"um... is there anythin' else I could do fer ya Don?"

Donnie just stayed curled up but cast his eyes to the floor. "Y.you don't h.have to do a.anything for me m.master" Raph could do what he liked to him. He wasn't sure whether to go back to his nest or stay on the bare mattress on the bed, it felt weird to be on a bed.

"T.thank you f.for the drugs..." He hoped they were only painkillers, but he'd learnt to thank people for everything anyway.

Raphael sighed and shook his head, trying not to show how much that name bothered him but it did. He did not want Donatello to see him as his Master or someone who will use him.

But what were they now? They were no longer brothers, that was for sure. That was something that Raph would think about on a later date.

"I told ya, we ain't gonna drug ya." Raphael said quietly, sitting on the bed next to the smaller turtle and putting a blanket around him. Raph gave Donnie a sad, yet warm smile. "m sorry I couldn' protect ya." He mumbled to both himself and to the smaller form in front of him.

Donnie didn't say anything as he snuggled up in the blanket. "H.hurt to t.hink" Everything he'd even known just came crashing down around him and he didn't know who was lying.

He wanted Raphs story to be true, but that hurt even more because he'd cried for his family as a child and they never came. He used to dream his family would come and get him and he'd have a happy life with them, but it never came, and he never once tried to escape.

Raph said nothing else either and just stayed with the smaller turtle. Donatello had been through so much. Things that he could never imagine. Things that he wished had never happened in the first place.

The hothead's mind suddenly thought to last night and his face flushed. It was true, he had grew feelings towards his youngest sibling. Feelings that had to have been there all along, despite how fast they had grown in such a short amount of time.

Raphael stayed by Don's side, just being there for him as much as he knew how to. The large turtle stared at the wall, his mind racing over their childhood and of what they were going to do.

Soon Don moved to curl back up in Raph's lap, cuddling close to get some physical affection as well. Suddenly he realised what he was doing and pulled back a little. "I.is this ok?" He didn't want to be so close if Raph didn't want him too

Mikey poked his head in and suddenly perked up when he saw Donnie was awake. "Leo! He woke up!" He called out towards the dojo where Leo was training or meditating, he'd been so worried when he found out Donnie had passed out that he'd been trying to think of ways to make Donnie heal faster since.

Raphael had just been about to answer when Michelangelo showed up, grinning brightly and happy to know that Donatello was alright. However, Raph was not. Guilt ate at him, knowing that he could not tell his other brothers what had just transpired between Donnie and himself.

"He woke up a bit ago. Gave him some painkillers." Raph mumbled, not making eye contact. Also feeling another wave of guilt for not giving Donnie some wanted affection.

Leonardo waltzed into the room, a relieved smile on his face. "Ah, it's good to see that you are awake Donatello. Are you feeling alright? Would you like something to eat or drink?" The leader was worried and was also a little confused as to why Raphael seemed to be the only one Don opened up to.

When Raph didn't say that it was ok to cuddle up to him Donnie moved away to curl up on his own in the bed.

He looked up at Leo and timidly shook his head, still not used to eating or drinking much even though he'd been passed out since yesterday afternoon.

Mikey sat down next to him and stroked his head gently, watching Donnie lean into the touch like a cat liking the physical touch. He guessed Donnie was used to being touched a lot

Raphael looked over and watched as Michelangelo pat Don's head. Something pooled within his stomach and for some reason, he really did not like how Mikey had his hands on Don.

It was a possessive instinct. The alpha in him was jealous. He only wanted Donnie to rub up into his caresses like that or for him to be the only one to touch him. He had no idea where these thoughts were coming from but he felt strongly about it.

Raphael mumbled something under his breath and looked away from the scene. He was angry, but he could not do anything about it until Leonardo and Michelangelo left the room.

Leonardo frowned when Don shook his head no. This was bad, if Don did not eat something then he would only get worse. Eating right and getting lots of rest were the only ways for Donnie to get better.

Though, Leo shifted awkwardly at the tension within the air. What was that about?

Mikey continued to pet Donnie and put his head in his lap to be a bit more comfortable since all the pillows were under the bed in his little nest. "Is it ok to touch you like this?" Mikey asked, hoping that Donnie didn't take it the wrong way.

Donnie only nodded and curled up comfortably. He'd wanted to do this with Raph but he hadn't answered when he'd asked if it was ok.

Michelangelo was also worried that Donnie didn't seem to want to eat, to him he'd probably eaten enough yesterday but they needed to get him eating daily at least. They could order him to eat but would that really be a good idea when they were trying to make him more independent and think for himself.

It was the last straw for Raphael when Michelangelo pulled Donatello's head onto his lap. The larger turtle coughed awkwardly and tried to stir up a conversation to get Mikey and Leo out of the room.

"Hey Mike, why don't cha fix up some lunch bro?" Raph asked smoothly, trying not to show the jealousy he felt.

Leonardo raised an eyebrow but said nothing about it. Donatello did need to eat anyway. "I'll help you Mikey."

Once Leo and Mike left the room, Raphael pulled Donnie close, his jealously slowly going away. "Sorry, I didn't - I wanted ta hold ya instead." He answered honestly, embarrassed.

Donnie cuddled up close to Raph, feeling a little guilty. Did Raph not want him to be close to anyone else? Mikey's petting had felt like praise and he'd enjoyed it...

"D.did I do... Bad M.master?" He liked to be close to Raph but was he only allowed to be touched by him? He could do that if he wanted him too, he liked affection from his Master, nuzzling into his plastron for attention and waiting to be told if he was being good.

Everyone would be going to eat soon but Don had already said that he didn't need any, he'd eaten a lot for him the day before when he'd had a bowl of scrambled eggs and a sandwich

The larger turtle pulled Donatello closer when he nuzzled his plastron and managed a small smile. Feeling stupid for being jealous over something so silly. Donnie needed affection and to know that he was loved

Don needed independence. And he knew that the smaller turtle wanted those things for himself too.

Raph slowly shook his head at the question. "No, ya did nothing wrong Don." He said honestly, giving him a soft smile and gently rubbing his head. Though he frowned at the Master comment. "Don I told ya. ‘M not yer master. Yer allowed to think fer yerself now."

Donnie was loving the physical affections, curled up comfortably in Raph's lap and even let out a soft purr as his master pet his head like he was praising him for being a good boy.

"I...D.don't want to think..." He admitted quietly. Thinking made his head hurt because he was constantly at war with himself on what was real and what was a lie.

He had never had independance, not really sure if he wanted it. It was hard to have to think and do everything for himself, usually he could just sit back and wait to be told what to do "W.what do you w.want me to call you?"

Raphael continued his soft caresses upon Donatello's head.  Though it was in an affectionate way and not at all like a pet.

The larger turtle frowned to this. It already hurt to know that Don did not remember them. But having it repeated hurt him a little more. "My name is Raphael. But ya can call me Raph.  "

"I.i know..." He said timidly, having taking in every word they had said to each other and picking up their names based on their colours, though without their bandanas he would probably get their names wrong. "Y.you just w.want me to call you R.raph?"

The soft caresses felt even better than the petting and he gave a soft churr of contentment instead of arousal.

Raphael responded with a soft churr of his own out of instinct.  "Yes, I know yer confused Don and ya can take all the time ya need. But I would like fer ya ta call me Raph."

For years Don had gone through things that Raphael or the others could never really understand. Torture. Suffering. Malnutrition. Abuse. Rape. And above all, Don had never experienced love.

Out of all them, Don was the one who deserved love the most.

Raphael felt his heart break a little at the thought and continued his soft caresses of his head.

"O.okay. Raph..." He smiled softly back, just melting into the affectionate touches and wanting to give Raph some back.

Slowly he started to caress and rub the strong emerald thighs from where he was laying with his head in Raph's lap

Raphael felt happy about the soft smile he was given. It made him feel a little better knowing that Don was slowly coming out of hiding and slowly, ever so slowly, coming back to his normal self. Though Raph knew he would never really be the same.

The larger turtle's eyes widened and he shifted awkwardly. He knew Don meant nothing by it, but those soft fingers caressing his thighs were sending happy shivers to his groin and he knew that things would get bad.

"Raphael! Donatello! It's time to eat!"

Raphael was startled by Leonardo calling out for them and looked down towards the smaller turtle. "Come on Don. We can um... Well ya need ta eat." The larger turtle was nervous. Especially because those soft caresses were doing things to his body that he never thought possible.

Donnie frowned but stopped and stood up to wait for Raph. He didn't really feel like he needed to eat, but if Master wanted him too then he would.

When the two of them came into the kitchen Mikey beamed at them and nudged Leo to show him that Donnie had came as well. "Hey, Donnie. Decided to eat after all did you?"

Leonardo looked up and was surprised. Seeing as though Donatello had completely denied his request to eat a few minutes ago.

From the looks of things, Donatello seemed to be really close to Raph and seemed to listen to him the most. It was a good thing though, but something bugged him.

"It's nice of you to join us Don. I was thinking that after this, if you would like, we could possibly brush up on some reading?"

Raphael smiled at the suggestion and nodded towards Mike. "He needs ta eat. And I think some reading will be good. Since Don's smart with that stuff."

Raph said that he needed to eat so he would. Once he heard about reading though he perked up and his tail started to wag in excitement. "I.i can learn to R.read?" He said hopefully, clearly having not read or picked up a book since he was taken all those years ago, he couldn't even remember how to read the most basic children’s books that he’d mastered before he was taken from them.

He made his way over to the table and went to sit on the floor, getting half way down before remembering that they liked him to sit on the chair instead.

Leonardo nodded his head. It made him smile slightly to know that learning to read was making the smaller happy. Donatello was very smart as a child and he had a feeling that those habits have not died.

Raphael was about to say something, but Don had quickly went for the chair instead of the floor. It was going to take a lot of time before the smaller could get the swing of things. But baby steps.

The large turtle grabbed some meat and slapped it onto his plate and without a word, he placed some onto Donatello's as well. Don needed his strength back and Raph was determined to help him.

Don was quick to start eating the meat once it was on his plate, wanting to be a good boy and eat like Master wanted him to even though he wouldn't normally.

The small turtle was growing needy for praise and affectionate touches, having never gotten them before, he was getting greedy for them to continue. He was going to be a good boy to get rewards and hopefully not do anything that would get any punishments.

Raphael watched Donatello for a moment. He could tell that the smaller was anxious. By his stance and from his scent.

The hothead figured it was because he was excited to read, though that was not the case.

Once everyone was finished eating, Raphael led Donatello towards the bookshelf. "Ya can pick whateva one ya want Don."

Donnie wiped his hands on his legs since he'd eaten with his hands again and not with cutlery.

"i.i don't know w.what they are." He said as he stared at the books in amazement. He'd always wanted to learn and read but he was never taught and always told that intelligence would be wasted on someone so pathetic.

Raphael felt a little sheepish and ran a hand over his face. Of course Don wouldn't. He had forgotten how to read.

And the thought placed a heavy weight onto his heart.

Raph chose a children's book to start. Once Don got the hang of those, they would work their way up to intermediate, to teen, and then finally adult.

The large turtle took Don to his room and placed pillows and blankets for them on the floor to get more comfortable. Raphael sat close to Don as he opened up the first page. It was honestly difficult for him. Knowing that Don was a grown adult and had no mindset of knowing how to read broke his heart.

Donnie felt a rush of excitement as he opened the children's book, he knew they'd have to start with really young childs stories so that he could learn, but hopefully he would work up to reading things that could help him learn more.

The words meant nothing to him but he stared down at them with interest, just looking at the words before looking up at Raph hopeful that he would help him learn to understand

Raphael smiled as Don looked up at him and he slowly began to teach him the words. He was slow and cautious. Making sure to pronounce each and every word correctly. Though it was difficult for him, due to his accent.

The hothead repeated each word until Don was able to read it back to him. Raph was honestly amazed at how fast Donnie was catching on. Once he knew Don was ready to move on, he turned the page. Doing the same thing over again.

"Do ya understand it?"

Don struggled at first but after awhile it seemed to get easier, the simple words started to come back to him from where he'd leant from Splinter as a child. "I.i think so..."

Certain words were strange since Donnie would repeat it in Raphs accent without realizing and have to try and learn to say it properly with help

It was a struggle. But the two had managed to work through most if the pages. The larger turtle had stopped for a moment. He figured Don would need a moment to let it all sink in.

Though, the way Donnie said things in his accent was oddly adorable.

Raphael smiled as he patted Don's head. "Yer really smart Don. Sorry fer pronouncing them wrong."

"I.i like how you speak... A.all the h.humans speak differantly t.too." He smiled up at Raph during the little break, loving the praise and physical attention.

After a few more moments rest Donnie turned the book back to the beginning and slowly sounded out the words, stuttering and looking to Raph for help when he couldn't get the word right. 

The book was from their childhood and for a reading age of about a five year old, Donnie was struggling a little on some of the words, but he was picking it up fairly quickly considering he couldn't read at all when they started. Now he could read the simple words by himself

Raphael was proud of both Donnie and himself. The smaller had learned quickly, although there were minor struggles. Raph was nervous of helping him with this at first because he was not sure what he was doing. But he must have been doing something right for Don to catch on so quickly.

Raph moved on to the rest of the story. This time he had Don try to sound it first before saying it correctly to him. After that, the smaller was able to read the rest by himself.

With a huge grin, Raphael patted Don's head. "Yer awesome Donnie-boy."

Don had struggled a lot more when he tried to read it himself first, needing a lot of help to get by the rest of the book since he didn't know what words were coming up. It was the youngest children's book they still owned but Donnie was slowly starting to get better at reading it.

Surprisingly for Raph Donnie could sound things out, but only hard pronunciations were easy for him, he knew the letters of the alphabet but not the other sounds the letters could make. He had kept repeating the alphabet over and over to himself over the years as a way to keep the little education he could remember.

Raphael went over each synonym and pronoun citation as careful as possible. Making sure to say it in a way that Donatello would understand. Once they got to the end, raph had Don read the whole thing to him from the beginning and went over words he was still having trouble with.

Once Donnie finished Raphael placed the book aside and had a warm smile on his face when he seen how happy Don was. Learning new things had always excited Don in the past and he was glad that those little spurts have not changed.   


"Would ya like ta try another one? Or would ya like to work on more words instead?"

"I.i Don't mind." He still wasn't confident or very comfortable making decisions himself. He'd rather be told what to do then use his own free will, there was less chance of anyone getting angry at him that way

Raphael just watched him for a moment. Don spoke nervously. He always stuttered. Which he did not need too. The smaller should know by now that no punishment will come if he spoke.

Actually, no punishments would come to him at all.

"Ya Don' need ta be so nervous Don. Yer allowed to speak yer mind. I told ya ba'fore.  Ya ain't a prisoner here."

"O.ok Mas... Raph." He quickly corrected since Raph didn't like to be called Master. Did he notice his slip? He wasn't going to be punished for that was he? "S.sorry..."

He curled up a little more in Raph's lap and tried to just distract himself with the book, fidgeting with it and not really sure what to do.

Raphael shook his head. "Ya Don' need ta be sorry." The larger spoke softly, a small smile on his face when he seen Don fidgeting with the book. Hinting that he wanted to go over it again.

Raph held the smaller close and helped him open up the book. Though this time he had Don read it by himself. And only helping when he needed it.

Donnie slowly read through the book, stuttering and sounding out certain words. Occasionally a word or two that was harder to pronounce or weren't said properly because he'd learned with Raphs accent changing the sounds a little bit.

The book only had about twenty pages of big writing and short paragraphs, but it took Donnie over five minutes to work through it with help.

Raphael placed the book aside once they were finished. He figured it might be easier if Leo it Mikey had helped. Since Raphael's accent would more than likely throw Don off. But the smaller seemed content with Raph teaching him. So he figured that was a good thing.

The larger turtle held Don close and began to caress his head out of habit. Donnie seemed to like this show of affection so he kept doing it. Offering him a small smile.

Despite everything Don had been through. The larger turtle could tell that Donnie was not fully lost yet. And that things would get better.

Donnie fully relaxed and put the book to the side to just enjoy the caresses and soft touches that Raph was giving him. To him it was praise for doing a good job in learning to read and he was happy to soak it up like a sponge with a little happy churr.

"I.i did good?" He asked just to make sure that he'd pleased his master and deserved this nice praise.

Raphael sighed softly. It hurt him more than he let on to know that Don always had to ask if he had done good. As though Raph would punish him if he hadn't. But the larger turtle would never do that.

"I told ya, yer smart. I knew ya would catch on quick." Raphael stated with a grin, continuing his soft caresses.

"I... r.remember l.learning letters." He said timidly, admitting that he was a little educated which he would never have done at the foot.

Raph hadn't directly said he was good which worried him but it sounded like he was pleased with him, which made him nuzzle up to him a little more with his scarred and burnt tail wagging slowly

That was good. That meant that Don had not completely forgotten everything when he was with the foot. He had remembered some things. Though it was obvious Donnie was scared to admit such things. Fearing that he would be punished.

It was hard. To not say the wrong things or give Don the wrong idea. The poor turtle had been abused for even speaking, Raphael realized and it hurt so much.

Donatello deserved a life filled with love and happiness. He was such an innocent and good soul back when they were kids. He was like Raph's best friend and little brother.

Now, Don was like a fragile doll who could break by just one simple touch. And for once in his life, Raphael felt scared.

When Raph didn't say anything Donnie got nervous again, was he mad that he had kept hold of his letters? He nuzzled up to Raph with another small whimper, scared the other would think less of him for being educated even a little.

The foot had always tried to repress Donnie in every way, not allowing him to become smart incase he figured out that everything was a lie, and kept weak enough that he couldn’t fight them or rise against them.

Raphael looked down at the smaller nuzzling up to him and managed a small smile. "I'm glad ta know that ya were able ta keep something's ta yerself."

Though he felt a boiling anger deep within his gut.  The foot. The shredder. All of them had done such terrible things to Donnie. Things that should not go by without punishment.

Raph was having dark thoughts. He wanted to make them all suffer like Don had. Without mercy. The thought of stabbing each and every one of them with his sai made his vision go red.

He wanted them dead. All of them.

Donnie could feel the anger rolling off Raph and it scared him, clutching onto him tighter and trying to feel a little more secure. He hoped that anger wasn't directed at him but who else would it be directed at? They were the only ones in the room and the only thing that had changed was that Raph had learnt that he knew his letters.

"A.are you p.pleased with me Master?" In his fear he didn't think about the fact that Raph didn't like his title, he was too worried that he was angry and that he'd get punished. Raph was so strong that it would hurt even worse from him then it did with the humans...

The soft voice brought him out of his dark thoughts. And Raphael remembered where he was and who he was with. The larger turtle felt guilt when he looked into Don's scared auburn eyes. He was still angry though and he did not want Don to feel as though it was directed at him because it wasn't.

"Sorry. I didn't - I'm not mad at ya. Didn't mean ta scare ya. I'll be right back." Raphael mumbled, patting Don on his head once more and gently placed him onto the pile of blankets on the floor and left the room.

He was angry. All he saw was red. And he had to go away. Donnie did not deserve his temper. Raphael looked towards the door.

No, he knew who deserved his anger. And he was determined to get rid of said anger.

Donnie curled up in his little nest on the floor, despite Raph saying he wasn't mad at him he could feel how angry he was and he was the only one that had been around him.

He was scared of a punishment and quickly looked around the room, spotting the old wardrobe and moving over to sit inside with a blanket around him. If they couldn't find him he couldn't be punished and they'd lose interest, that how it always worked, no one cared enough to chase him around for a punishment and last time they had found him easily under the bed. 

In the wardrobe it was cramped and dark but he was used to that, feeling comfort from the small space because he knew that nothing could be hiding in the darkness with him.


	9. Chapter 9

It was the middle of the night and Raphael had finally returned home. He was covered in blood and wounds. Some of the blood was his and some of it was not. Raph wobbled as he headed down the hallway.

It was a harsh battle. Raphael had headed towards the tower on his own. It was idiotic and brash. The larger turtle was out for blood and the foot just happened to be his target at the time. Although he wanted to get his hands on the Shredder, he realized that he could not take him on alone.

He took down all that was in his way. He left when the foot grew in numbers. Raphael knew that he was in deep shit but he did not care. What they had done to Don was not right.

"Raphael! Where have you -" Leonardo stopped when he seen his little brother covered in blood and battle wounds. "What happened? Who -"

"I went back ta the tower."

"Are you crazy?! You could have been killed!"

"I know!" Raphael shouted back, the anger he felt was too strong still, and the wounds were stinging. "I- they deserved it Leo."

"Oh did they now. I understand -"

"No you don't! You don't see the painful look in his eyes like I do. He opens up more ta me Leo. Don did not deserve it! Any of it!"

"And so you think getting revenge will solve it? Don needs us more than ever Raph and you go out and fight like a deranged idiot." Leonardo hissed, pointing a finger at Raph's chest. "After all if you were the one who was supposed to take care of him the. Why did you leave?"

"I- he's scared -"

"I know Raphael. Shredder will soon get what is owed. But we need to think about Donnie and his safety. Going out and causing a war will not help him."

Raph was upset though he did not feel angry anymore. His head was spinning from the blood loss and he felt like he was going to pass out. Don must be scared from all the yelling. He should go make sure he was okay.

But perhaps his appearance would scare him more. "I'll take a shower."

"This conversation is not over Raph."

"Can it wait till morning?"

Leo huffed but said nothing more and watched as Raphael walked away and ran a hand over his face. When will the babysitting ever end?

\----

Don could smell blood and hear the shouting outside his room, no one had seen him after Raph had left and even if they had come in to look he was still hidden away curled in the bottom of the wardrobe with his blanket like a scared child.

The shouting and the anger was terrifying him, not able to make out many words but picking out his name. He had been bad and now they were angry! Tears sprang to his eyes as he curled up tighter and hugged himself in his blanket.

He was safe in here. No one knew he was here and he was safe in his small dark hide away he'd found

When Raphael walked into Dons room after his shower. He had cleaned most of his wounds and the blood was gone. But he still felt woozy.

But for some reason he had to make sure Donnie was okay. He frowned when he stepped inside and heard no one or saw no one.

"Donnie? Are you okay? I'm sorry if I scared ya."

Donnie was deathly silent as he heard his door opened. Don't move, barely breath. If you stay hidden then you're safe. He pushed his shell against the back of the wardrobe and closed his eyes tightly, scared even his soft breathing would alert Raph to his presence.

He wasn't scared. He’d been terrified, loud noises scared him but yelling scared him more because it meant arguments and fighting that always got taken out on him, either with a beating or sexually and he didn't want his master to do anything like that to him, anyone but master

Raph had been put on a pedestal in Donnie's mind, the nice, kind, friendly master who only gave him pleasure and wanted him to learn and be a better person. Don still felt guilty for not taking the wooden car with him that Raph had given him, but at the time he was too worried about Raph being disgusted at him

Raphael listened to the dark silence. All the larger turtle could hear was his own breathing. The smaller must have his himself due to all the yelling.

The hothead felt guilty. He had not meant to scare the little turtle. But he knew that Don did not want to be bothered and he wouldn't.

Raph stayed there for a few more minutes before wandering into his own room. He would talk to Don once he was ready. But not now. The large turtle mumbled something under his breath and fell asleep. The day's events taking its toll on him.

Donnie didn't move from his spot for almost an hour before he fell asleep in the cramped wardrobe, all wrapped up in his blanket and staying hidden and silent away from anyone who tried to look in to make sure he was ok.

\---

Raphael tossed and turned for an hour or two before he finally got up. He was worried for Don. He had not made a sound or anything. The larger turtle removed himself from his bed and walked into Donatello's room.

Raph searched the under the bed. Nothing. He searched the closet. Nothing. Behind the door. Nothing.

Finally, Raph stopped at the huge wardrobe and his heart dropped to his stomach when he seen Don curled in a little ball with a blanket wrapped around him. "Donnie."

Raphael mumbled gently and slowly reached for him.

Don was fast asleep, looking to be in a troubled sleep and stirring only a little as Raph reached out to touch him, for once though he was in a deep sleep and didn't wake up easily, clinging to his blanket tightly and bundled into the corner of the wardrobe.

Raphael frowned and pulled Donatello out of the wardrobe. If it weren't for the air seeping through the cracks, Don could have suffocated.

Leo was right. He was a bonehead.

The elder scowled at the thought and gently carried Don to the bed, surrounding him with pillows and blankets.

He had regretted his actions last night. He was foolish and not only did he put himself in danger, he did that to his whole family as well.

"I'm sorry." Raphael spoke gently, caressing Don's head gently.

Don rubbed and pushed against Raph's hand even as he slept, he sort out physical affection, turning around he snuggled up close to Raph's plastron and nuzzled into it gently.

His dreams made no sense and were warped and twisted memories, his family mixed in with the abusive foot and Shredder. It made him whimper out and grip Raph to cling to like a frightened child.

Raphael held Donatello and frowned as he continued to whimper within his sleep. This was bad. The poor turtle was having a nightmare.

Last time he woke Don the smaller had been frightened. But he could not bare to see him squirm in pain anymore.

Raph nudged Don gently. "Donnie, ya need ta wake up. Yer having a nightmare. It's okay, I'm here."

Donnie groaned but was in a deep sleep and just rolled over to face away from Raph, curling up a little tighter in his ball like he was trying to pull into his shell. He was so thin he actually could a little bit, but obviously not by much since they'd mutated too human to keep that ability.

Raphael watched as the smaller rolled away. The smaller was obviously a deep sleeper. Which was odd since before the littlest sound would wake him up. Perhaps the air really really had been thin in the wardrobe? 

Without really thinking, Raph leaned forwards and pressed a soft kiss to Don's forehead before turning away from him. Maybe he should go...

The soft kiss seemed to help Donnie slightly, softening out his worried expression and his whimpers stopped a little, making him seem a bit more peaceful in his sleep

Raphael stopped from his tracks and looked to the smaller form. He looked peaceful. And the nightmare seemed to have deceased.

Instead of leaving, the larger turtle moved onto the bed with Donnie and just laid down next to him. Hoping that him just being there would be enough.

Donnie turned back around and snuggled up to Raph happily with a soft little churr. Cuddling up to his brother closely as his nightmares washed away just from the touch and scent of his master, starting to associate him with being safe.

That's why he was so terrified of Raph hating him, he was the one person he was starting to open up to and think of and a kind family member that only wanted to help him

Raphael pulled Donatello closer. His strong arms wrapping around him in a protective manner. The smaller needed to feel safe. And Raph would always be there for him.

Although he was not very good with words. At least his presence was enough and that was good enough for him.

After a while of them staying like this, Raphael finally fell asleep. Holding his little brother close.

Donnie slept peacefully for the rest of the night, comforted by being held in his master arm while he slept and dreamed of happy times, some of which were old memories but most were made up and would fade when he awoke.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So This one will be 26 Chapters, with another open ending unfortunatly, though this one is still continued sometimes, and there will already be a few chapters of the Sequel after a short time skip

Raphael had not slept this good in a long time. He mainly had restless nights where he tossed and turned but not tonight. He had slept peacefully.

When Donnie did wake up it only took a moment for his to register who he was snuggled up to, letting out a little happy sigh and staying snuggled up comfortably... Until he remembered that he's falling asleep in the wardrobe

Suddenly he was scrambling backwards so quickly he fell off the bed, worried at being out in the open and not safe in his tight dark hidey hole.

Raphael awoke to a loud thud and groaned as he woke up. The hothead blinked when he realized that the little turtle was no longer in his arms. Raph searched and his eyes widened when he seen that Don had fallen off the bed.

"Donnie? How in the heck did ya -"

The larger turtle did not finish as he quickly got off the bed to help Don onto his feet. "Ya okay? Ya didn't hurt yer head er nothing, right?"

Donnie let Raph gather him up in his arms, having landed awkwardly on his shell and legs making them sore. He curled back up close to Raph's plastron with a little gasp as he got over the shock of falling off the bed. He'd always slept on the floor and not been prepared for the drop. "S.sorry. I.i'm fine M.master, Raph."

He shook his head even though he had bumped it fairly hard, not wanting to admit to being too hurt because then he'd be given drugs which still scared him to take.

Raphael frowned at the nickname though he shook his head at the apology. "Ya got nothin ta apologize fer." The larger turtle spoke honestly.

Judging by how Donatello was acting, he could tell that he was in pain and a small goose egg was forming on his head. The larger turtle lifted Don up gently and placed him onto the bed and had him lay down.

Raphael left the room and had a bag filled with ice in it. The taller male pressed the ice on the bump and had a rag wrapped over it for it to be more comfortable.

The large turtle was about to crawl back into bed with him. But would Donnie like him to? Would he be scared of him?

"Is it okay?" He asked gently, not moving until Don gave him the okay.

While Raph left Donnie didn't move at all, scared of falling off or hurting himself again.

Once the ice was placed onto his lump Don hissed from the pain that radiated from it and backed away, not wanting Raph to hurt him and not quite understanding that it would help him.

When Raph didn't come back to cuddle he assumed that he didn't want to, maybe he didn't want to touch him now that he was hurt? "I.i'm ok."

Raphael smiled sheepishly at Donatello's answer. He had asked if it was okay for him to crawl into bed with him. But, Raphael did not exactly wait to ask again.

The taller male moved himself onto the bed and slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller frame and pulled him close. Although Don was so thin, he was warm and Raphael liked to hold him.

Raph grabbed the abandoned ice pack and placed it back over the lump. All the while not letting the smaller go. He was content, just like this.

Donnie whimpered when the ice pack was placed back on him but didn't move away since Raph was still holding him close, scared to move away from Raph when he was held still.

The larger turtle frowned at the sound. And could tell that it was painful. But why did Don move away so quickly? Had Raphael scared him?

The larger turtle nuzzled Don gently in apology. "Sorry. I would offer ya some pain meds. But I don't want ya ta get upset again."

"N.no drugs. P.please Master?" He'd been messed up badly with drugs in the past and was terrified of having any now because he didn't trust what type of drugs they were, every kind of drug he'd had before had messed him up.

He looked up at Raph worried that he'd be forced to take the pills anyway, or Raph would get angry at him for asking not to have them. Wide pleading and scared eye looking straight up into Raphs

Raphael frowned when Donatello called him that, but said nothing. No matter what he told him, Don would still call him that anyway  for now he would let it slide.

Raph swallowed when those big and wide scared brown eyes looked deeply into his own. How could he say no to that face?

Donatello was doing things to his mind, heart, body, and soul that he could not explain.

"I won't give ya any. I promise."

H.hurts" He whimpered with the ice pack still on his swollen head, it was aching and he had a splitting headache, not to mention he'd falling harshly on his rear and his tail was aching too.

Don wanted to be a good boy and just take the pain but he was never good with head injuries, anything else he could ignore and hide but head injuries hurt too much.

Raphael frowned when the smaller admitted that he was in pain. The hothead wanted to give him meds to help, but Donnie had already asked him not to and he promised.

The larger turtle quickly rose from the bed and made his way into to bathroom. He grabbed some tablets and returned.

Raph returned to his space on the bed and frowned sadly. "If it's too much. I can give ya these. It's not dangerous Donnie, ya trust me, right?"

Donnie whimpered and scooted back away from Raph when he saw the pills, was he going to be forced to take them anyway?

"I.i trust you" His voice was shakier than usual though as he stared at the tablets. "I.i do what you w.want Ma.aster, Raph."

If he was ordered to take them then he'd have no choice, but otherwise he was too scared, even though his head was hurting.

Raphael sighed and shook his head. Donatello was missing the point. Raph was not doing this for himself, he wanted to help the smaller turtle. "It's not about what I want Don. I won't force ya. But the pain yer feelin'... I don't think ice will be enough."

The larger turtle would never force Donnie to do anything. But he only hoped that the smaller would really trust him enough to take the pills. Donnie needed them if he wanted to get better at all.

Donnie was clearly scared but opened his mouth for the pills, shaking slightly but it was clear that Raph wanted him to take them. They were safe right? Master didn't want to hurt him....

He had to trust Raph not to take advantage but it was hard when people had used him all of his life, all he's ever know was deceit and people who only wanted to cause him pain, he still wasn't sure if he was being tricked by his brothers but he wanted to believe Raph so badly

Raphael could tell that Donnie felt unsafe about all of this. He really did not want to force him, but Don said that he trusted him and slowly popped one tablet into his mouth. Just in case and gave him some water he had grabbed from the kitchen on his way in.

Raphael would never hurt Donatello and pulled the smaller turtle a little closer. Though he frowned when Don seemed to still be scared. "Nothing will happen ta ya here."

Don was grateful for the glass of water, usually being forced to take drugs dry and they  usually got stuck in his throat and tasted disgusting or made him choke. He just had to trust that it was just pain killers.

When he was pulled closer he instantly snuggled up to Raph's plastron "T.thank you." He always thanked people for drugs. He thanks everyone for everything, even when he was hurt or abused. In the foot he had to be eternally grateful because they saved his life... Though now he didn't know what to believe

Raphael sighed at the comment. The larger turtle figured that the smaller was forced to say these things. 'Thank you', 'I'm sorry', or he would just not speak at all.

The hothead enjoyed silence. Sometimes even bathed in it. But this, his sweet little brother. He did not like him being so silent all the time. He wanted Don to speak for himself. But all in due time.

Raph ran his hand over the smaller's shell and just held him close. He figured that Donnie should eat, but with this head hurting he was not sure that that was such a good idea. Especially in Don's situation.

Donnie squirmed a little at the strokes across his shell, liking how it felt and again taking it as praise for doing good and taking his pills, relishing in how close and tight they were hugging each other.

Being so close and affectionate helped to calm Donnie down, feeling cared for but also knowing that this was too close for Raph to be able to do a lot of damage if he did suddenly decide to punish him

Raphael could feel the conflicting waves rub off of Donnie. The smaller still feared him. After everything the larger male had done for him.

But, there was no way for him to truly understand what it was that Don had gone through. He did not know the true dangers of Don's life within the foot. He only knew from what he had seen and from the look in Don's eyes.

Raph looked down at the smaller turtle and nudged him, a small smile on his face. "Ya need to living up some Donnie-boy."

Donnie was just enjoying the hug but looked up with a confused look in his big eyes as he blinked up at Raph not sure what he meant by that.

He gently nuzzled Raph affectionately, wanting more physical attention since he was starting to get addicted to the positive touches.

Raphael felt an odd fluttery sensation within his chest when those big brown eyes looked up at him. All the anger from the previous night had completely washed away and was replaced with something else. Something unknown to him.

When that adorable olive face nuzzled into him affectionately, Raph thought as though he might lose it. Don was so cute and the larger turtle could not help but let out the smallest churr as he nuzzled Donnie in return. Though he was honestly a little nervous. "Yer okay with this?"

"Y.yes." He was used to being touched a lot a was craving it now, though he liked Raphs touch best because it was so affectionate and actually made him feel loved. Not that he knew what being loved felt like, he just assumed because it felt so good.

Don’s head hurt too much for him to fully relax enough to churr but he stayed snuggled up Raph as tightly as he could, not wanting to break away from him.

Raphael's smile was his answer and he nuzzled Don affectionately once more. He used one of his hands to gently rub the back of Donnie's shell and then to his plastron. The plates were still soft, but they ewe getting better. Especially since Raph made sure to keep them clean when they were alone.

It made the larger turtle feel better. Knowing. That his touches did not scare Don. Because that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Hurt him or make him feel manipulated.

When Raph's hands moved to his plastron he rolled over onto his shell to give his master more room to touch him, remembering how good it had felt when Raph had given him to simple yet amazing handjob. Was Raph going to do it again?

Even with his head wound and sore tail, that he was now leaning on, he gave a small soft churr of contentment, but also anticipating being made to feel that good again

Raphael's movements were slow and careful. He was content. Though he was curious. He made sure his hand went over every plate, though he frowned when he saw the slash marks on one and traced it gently.

It was experimentation. He was curious to know how another body felt other than his own. Though he was nervous Don would get the wrong idea, but he seemed to like what Raph was doing. The larger turtle answered Dons churr with a soft churr of his own.

Though his hand stopped when it reached the slit and his slender hips. He did not want Don to get the wrong idea. Raphael would never use him. The large hand moved upwards once more, his eyes finally met dons and he felt his breath caught in his throat when he seen how content and happy those brown eyes were.

Was it because of him? Was Raph making him happy?

Because Donnie's plates were so soft they were more sensitive, feeling more like hard skin than the protective shell it was meant to be, not protecting him half as well as it was supposed to.

Donnie churred louder when that hand got lowed and a fingertip accidently grazed the top of his slit, hips arching up to try and get more before whining when the hand moved away. Raph was just teasing him, getting him excited for pleasure and then leaving him without.

His headache was lessening because of the painkillers but he now had a growing need inside him to be touched more intimately, he'd return the favour as well obviously.

His legs parted slightly before opening a little more, giving Raph a good look at his scarred up tail tapping against the bed sheets. The burns were healing thanks to the cream he'd been given and now the thin appendage look a bit more olive green than black.

Raphael's eyes wandered to the view and he felt his face heat up when he seen the slightly bulging slit of the smaller below him. Was he really making Donnie feel that good?

The larger turtle blushed more at that cute little tail. He found himself churring as his hand returned to the slit, his finger grazing it gently, before slowly pushing his finger inside.

The scent of Donnie's arousal was fogging his brain and he met Don’s eyes once more. He did not say anything. He did not need to. If Don liked his touch then he would continue to touch him.

Donnie gave an excited squeak as the thick green finger teased and pushed inside his slit, though having anything inside his slit but his own penis felt weird and made him tense a little. He had to try and relax.

Raph wasn't like the humans, he wouldn't do anything in his slit that would hurt him because he understood, right? He wouldn't cover up his slit so that his erection couldn't get free and strained painfully without a way to get released.

One look at Raph seemed to calm his fears, Raph's eyes were shining with trust and affection that was making Donnie melt even more, and the tip of his penis came up to meet Raph fingers that had shallowly dipped inside.

Raphael was careful as his hand slowly pulled Don out more. He was cautious. None of his movements were rushed or forced.

Raph wrapped his whole hand fully around the base and began to pump the olive organ gently. Churring softly as he worked small noises out of the smaller turtle.

At first, Raphael was hesitant. But Don seemed to really enjoy his touch. He had felt Donnie's hesitation but his features were soft and calm. This was about Donatello, nothing else.

Raph leaned forwards and gently nuzzled Don's cheek affectionately, all the while working his hand up and down the olive dick in smooth and careful motions.

Donnie was a limp mess of panting turtle as he was jerked so tenderly by his master, making him moan and churr softly while his tail beat harder against the bed.

Raphael rumbled deeply at the small noises Donnie was making. It was music to his ears. Knowing that he was making Don feel so good.

It felt good and Donnie was rock hard in no time, already planning on giving Raph a mind numbing blowjob to show how grateful he was to having such a wonderful master who gave him such pleasure and comfort.

But the smart turtle deserved this. He deserved affection and loving touches. He deserved to feel good. And Raphael planned on doing just that.

Donnie's face was flushed softly, mouth opened slightly and eyes hooded over with pleasure as he tried to keep eye contact with the brother who was so good to him

"R.raphie~" He moaned out, confused at the odd nickname. Raphs old childhood nickname was long gone from Donnie's memories, he couldn’t even remember their names except what he'd picked up from them since he’d been here. The name seemed to have come from nowhere to Donnie as he lifted his hips for more.

The hothead stopped at the nickname and looked at Don with wide eyes. Though there was no anger at all, just shock and a little bit of something else that he could not explain.

Raphie.

No one had called him that in years. He hated it. But hearing it from Don's soft voice made him melt.

When Raph stopped Don's eyes went wide and he whined out, worried that Raph was bored of pleasuring him or was going to leave him hard and desperate.

Raphael continued his pumps again, this time moving a little faster and harder, his finger grazing over the slightly leaking tip. All the while churring at the way Donnie's face contorted into pleasure whenever he would touch him.

Donnie was continuously churring softly, loving the treatment he was getting and basking in the pleasant feeling that he was receiving.

But something was bugging him. Did Raph not like the name? He didn't know where it had come from! "S.sorry M.master..." He cried out but melted back into churrs when Raph started to work him even more

Raphael ignored the master comment. Even that was sending odd sensations throughout his body when the smaller spoke it so quietly and softly.

The larger turtle worked his hand a little faster, though he was gentle. Always careful. He feared that one wrong tug or pull would break the smaller.

Raph felt himself harden at the sounds and churrs, but he ignored his own growing need. Right now, it was about giving Donnie pleasure. "D-Does it feel good?"

"Y.yeah~" He moaned out happily. This and last time felt amazing, the best he'd ever felt in his long tormented life. All his sexual abuse and forced pleasures made him think that everything sexual had to hurt at his expense, but Raph showed him that sex could felt great if it was done right. For once he was given pleasure and not just used to take it from

His churrs were getting close together and he gasped out when Raph moved even faster, bringing him back close to the brink in seconds with his quick gentle pumps.

Raphael answered Dons loud churrs with churrs of his own. He rumbled in delight when he felt Don let out a small whine, indicating that he was nearing his end.

The larger turtle pumped Donatello a little faster, his thumb grazing the leaking tip of the olive cock. A small smirk was on his face as he watched Donnie's face turn colors and let out Mewls and moans of pleasure.

"Cum fer me." Raphael rumbled, not once moving his eyes away from Don's face.

Donnie was almost there but as soon as Raph told him to cum it was somewhat forced out of him to follow the order, taking the deep rumble as a command, and one that was familiar to him.

He arched his hips upwards as he came with a look of pure pleasure on his face as it twisted in bliss before falling almost limp and panting heavily to get his breath back. "T.thank you"

Raphael rumbled as Donatello came, slowly pumping his hand to milk Donnie for all that he was worth. Once the smaller was finished, he grabbed a towel from the bedside table and wiped the little turtle off, helping him put himself back into his slit.

The larger turtle cooed and shook his head when Don thanked him, nuzzling him affectionately. "Ya don't need ta thank me Don." The larger rumbled, pulling the smaller close, ignoring how hard he was under his shell.

Raphael was more than content like this. Don did not owe him a thing.

"I.it felt so good" He Churred happily as he was cleaned off softly by his lover. Feeling content and satisfied as he basked on the bed brom the pleasureable afterglow, nuzzling him back as he was pulled into another close hug.

He could feel Raphs hard on though and reached to touch and stroke it as he pulled back to get ready to suck him off again. It was partly his duty to service his master but mostly he was grateful and wanted to do it.

Raphael blinked in confusion when Donatello seemed eager as he rubbed along his cock, wanting the larger turtle to drop down.

"Don, ya ain't gotta-" but Raphael stopped. The smaller seemed like he really wanted this, so he just laid out onto his shell. Churring softly as he caressed Don's head and let himself drop down into the others experienced hands.

"I.i want to M.master Raph" Donnie assured, giving his hand job before ducking down to lick all along the thicker turtles penis.

He loved how Raph caressed him so lovingly, making him only want to show him pleasure even more, happy that Raph had lay out on his shell so that it was easier for him to pleasure.

Raphael moaned as Donatello licked the tip as well as give his thick cock a hand job. Don’s hand felt so good around him. And his tongue.

The larger turtle continued his soft caresses before he pulled his hand away, not wanting to distract the smaller too much. "Don..." Raph moaned, as that tongue continued to lap at his tip.

Donnie took as much as he could into his mouth, bobbing and sucking it much like before. He was wondering if he could deepthroat it though. With humans he'd learnt how to take it easily but turtles were much bigger.

Slowly he moved his hand away to push down even more, getting deeper onto the thick length until he slowly managed to get an inch or so onto it, swallowing tightly around it to make it feel even better.

Raphael let out a loud moan. Before Don had only licked at his dick gently, now he was trying to take all of the larger turtle in.

It felt amazing. Never before had he felt something. Like this.

Raph groaned as Don sucked on him tightly, taking more and more of him into his mouth. He wanted to tell Don to take it easy. But he did not have the heart to do so. It felt too good.

Donnie kept pushing it deeper until he had almost taken all of it and had to stop, pulling back to breath before darting down to swallow it quickly, bobbing himself up and down while churring around it to cause pleasant vibrations.

He liked hearing Raphs noises, loving the churrs that he'd missed out on with the humans, it made himself feel better about doing this and it wasn't forced anymore, he pleasured him willingly because he wanted to.

He was rocking back and forth slightly, getting hard himself inside his shell again, but he was ignoring that for now, it would soon be taken care of while he showed his Master how much he loved and appreciated him.

"Don." Raphael groaned, gripping the sheets with his hands and trying his hardest to not thrust his hips into that wonderful hot and wet mouth around his cock.

The larger turtle was panting hard, churring deeply as Donatello took him deeper and deeper each time, before he managed to deepthroat him and Raph lost it. His dick twitched as it began to leak precum. Donnie felt good around him.

The larger turtle was unaware of what the smaller was experiencing. His emerald features had contorted into pleasure, gasping when Donnie would lick him at the right time or suckle.

Donnie deepthroated as best he could, sucking and swallowing quickly as his throat became even more slick with Raphs precome which helped him bod up and down a little faster.

Unknown to Raph Donnie was also fingering himself, using his own precome to help as he slicked himself up and worked to make sure he could take him with as little pain possible. In the foot he was taken daily, multiple times a day, so he stayed stretched  and open. During his time here he'd not been touched and was worried as he'd tightened up a little already, he had to stay open and ready so that it wouldn't hurt. He’d learnt that from a very young age.

When he felt Raph was slicked with saliva enough and that he was gaping wide he pulled off away from the cock to stroke it with his hands, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"Ey-" the larger turtle protested when the smaller turtle pulled away from his cock. He had just been about to come. Especially since Donatello had made him feel so good.

The larger turtle watched as Don stroked his cock, and his eyes widened when Donatello scrambled up to sink his quickly prepped entrance down onto Raph's erection, he howled with pleasure but his eyes were wide and worried a moment later.

Donnie had to bite his lip since it was such a tight fit that it hurt a little, but it would be worth it, the pain never lasted long and he was used to it from the double penetrations that had been forced on him.

Shit.

Raphael was nervous. Though his brain was fogged by the tight and hot tunnel surrounding him. He had never experienced that before. But, he felt as though Don felt forced.

He did not want that.

"Don, ya Don' gotta, ah ~ do this. I-I don't know what I am doin'." He admitted with a blush.

There was no turning back now. Donatello was no longer his brother. But he was so much more.

Donnie groaned as he was allowed time to get used to Raphs size, that was something he wasn't normally allowed to do.

"I.i'm Ok Raphie I.i can d.do all the w.work." He wasn't going to get Raph to do anything but to enjoy himself, this was for Raph not for himself, sometimes he wasn't even allowed to finish when he was riding someone like this.

He leaned forwards to plant his hands on Raph's plastron, feeling how hard it was compared to his own and wondering if his was meant to be like that or not. Slowly he leaned forwards and lifted up his rear before rocking back and taking the thick length back inside, taking it slow at first since it was still hurting right now while he got used to it.

"D.does it f.feel good?" He hoped he was doing a good job, he knew that it felt good for the humans and sometimes he even got rewards if he did it right, all he wanted from Raph though was love and security. He liked just feeling safe and relaxed around him and as long as he kept him happy then Raph was a kind Master for him.

Raphael nodded at Donatello's words. Allowing him to do as he pleased. He cooed softly when Don placed his hands onto his plastron. Those soft and small hands felt so good. And it was just a simple touch.

When Don brought himself back down onto his cock, Raphael let out a low moan. Churring as Dons tight heat surrounded him. Though he frowned at Donnie's pain.

Feeling a little sheepish, Raph wrapped his hand around the smaller's neglected cock and pumped it gently. "Yes, but how do you feel? If it hurts too much w-we can stop."

Donnie shook his head as Raph suggested stopping, he couldn't stop untill Raph was finished, it was Raph's right to fill him up with cum.

He churred loudly when Raph started to pleasure him in return, he didn't have to and very few times had anyone ever done that and it felt amazing, distracting him from any pain behind him and letting him move a little more easily to ride Raph smoothly

"T.thank you. It f.feel g.good~" He moaned out, using his legs to push forwards and up before rocking backwards and down, riding like a pro because of all the practice he'd had over the years.

He'd literally been doing this since he was a child, even as young as he was taken he was abused sexually as well, learning to give blowjobs before they managed to be able to stretch him enough to use however they wanted. He didn't know any different, to him it was just another part of growing up. He didn't even realise that it was abuse because it was just part of his life now.

"Don." Raphael moaned out loud, his hand pumping Donatello faster and in time with Don riding on his cock. It felt so good. Especially since he had never experienced something like this before in his whole life.

Raph had thought about sex before. But he wasn't sure with who or what he was dreaming this about. But experiencing it now, and with his brother. It was ten times better than his dreams.

The way Don's ass felt around his dick, the way it suffocated and hugged him so gently. "Y-You feel so good Don. Y-Ya feel good?"

Soon Donnie was used to the stretch and relaxed completely into the motion of riding his master. If it wasn't for the hand on his member this would just be business as usual, he didn't get much pleasure unless he slammed down on his prostate harder.

The hand job though was making him buck up into Raphs hand and enjoy it while he sped up his hips to get better friction.

Raphael moved one hand to Don's slender hips, holding him in place while that beautiful smaller turtle rode his cock. He knew that this was too soon for them to be doing this. But neither of them seemed eager to stop.

This was something that the two of them needed. The two of them needed to bask in this to take the next step closer towards one another.

Raphael rumbled as he slowly began to help Donnie by thrusting his hips upwards on his own, wanting to give Don pleasure to and show him just how much the larger turtle was enjoying this.

"Don..."

Raphs thrusts pushed up to hit his prostate dead on, making him churr out as his cock twitched in the larger’s hands.

"Raph~" He moaned out, his voice full of lustful happiness. His master was too good to him, even receiving pleasure he gave it back to Donnie easily.

Each thrust into his sweet spot made him churr louder and grip tighter onto Raph's plastron. He was getting close but wasn't meant to cum before Raph incase he didn't want that.

When it came to Don's release everyone wanted it different, some wanted to fill him first and then let him cum, other wanted him to cum first so that he spasmed and squeezed their cocks nicely to bring them off. Then again some people didn't want him to get any relief at all

Raphael could feel the smaller's release coming soon, as well as his own. The larger turtle pumped his hand around that beautiful olive cock even faster. Wanting to bring the smaller to completion.

The larger turtle churred as that tight and hot tunnel clamped around him whenever a bundle of nerves were hit. And the sounds Donnie made were music to his ears.

It felt wonderful. But he knew that there was something missing. He could tell that Don wanted to cum, but why was he holding back?

"Cum fer me Donnie-boy."

Just like before Donnie’s body obeyed the command instantly, shooting his seed over Raph’s plastron as he spasmed around Raph’s cock tightly with a loud churr rumbling from his chest.

Raphael panted as he released, milking his seed inside of those tight and hot inner walls. Gosh, Don was perfect.

Donnie forced himself to stay upwards on his shaky arms so he could take all of his masters seed and not miss a drop by letting it leak out.

Raph was amazing, he made Donnie feel honoured to serve someone so kind and rewarding, he hadn't been punished yet but he was still scared of that. He'd only gotten close to Raph, he still didn't trust Leo or Mikey yet, though Mikey seemed nice as well.


	11. Chapter 11

The larger turtle rumbled as he gripped Don by the face and pulled him close. He nuzzled each cheek and gently brought their foreheads together.

"The things ya do ta me~" the larger purred. Though he did not pull away. Without much thought, Raphael brought their beaks closer together and he pressed a soft kiss on olive lips, only pulling away quickly.

"I-I'm sorry Don, I hope that wasn't too much -"

"T.thank you" Donnie happily nuzzled Raph back, thanking him yet again for being able to cum and for giving him such pleasure when he didn't need to.

His eye went wide though at the kiss, staring with wide eyed innocence, looking innocent for the first time since they'd found him.

He'd never been kissed.

Why would anyone want to kiss him? It felt nice though, but when he went to kiss back Raph had already pulled away from him.

Don just shook his head when Raph asked if it was too much. It was perfect and more then he deserved

Raphael nodded when Donatello shook his head, indicating that kissing him was okay. But that look... Had Don never been kissed before? Something flared up inside Raph knowing that he had stole Donnie's first kiss.

Raphael knew that there were bound to be greater consequences for what they were doing. Brothers were not supposed to do this. But it felt right to him. None of this felt wrong at all.

An emerald green hand cupped the left side of Dons cheek and he pulled Donnie back into another soft kiss, using his other free hand to caress the smaller's body.

Donnie pressed into the touch with still that confused innocent look on his face, not sure what to think or do about this. He'd never been in this situation before, where the rules were completely unknown.

At first he just stayed still and let Raph do as he wanted, but the gentle caresses soon had him opening his mouth with a soft churr to try and awkwardly kiss back, having no idea what he was doing.

It didn't feel bad though so he kept going, trying to quickly learn what he was meant to doing by moving his lips a little with Raph's.

Raphael rumbled as Donatello kissed him back. The hand upon Don's cheek caressed it gently, pulling him even deeper into the kiss. They were both inexperienced.

Which made the moment all the more special.

Raph pulled the smaller frame closer to his own and pulled out of the kiss to spread kisses along Donnie's face and then down to his neck. The larger turtle was gentle with each kiss and caress. 

Donnie had never been kisssed, but he also hadn't even see a kiss, or even knew what one really was.

The only time he'd kissed was down Raphs plastron and that was only because someone had done that to him once to get him wound up while wearing a cock ring. And god it had felt so good he was desperate for relief in seconds

He liked the kiss on the lips, but he didn't understand it. Why were they rubbing their lips together like this and did it feel like this for Raph too.

Raphael nibbled at the tender and olive flesh of the smaller turtle's neck, but then slowly began kissing upwards again before he made it back to Don's lips.

Donnie's neck was sensitive and he fell relaxed again, encorouging Raph with more churrs and moans of pleasure and happiness. His body tensed though at the feel of teeth and he started to shake slightly with a little whimper.

_ Please don't bite down. _ He was too scared to voice his fears though, just freezing completely still with his eyes squeezed shut waiting for the hard bite. Bite's usually marked him and made him draw blood but he didn't dare tell Raph to stop

Raphael pulled away when Donatello seemed confused as to what they were doing. Was he doing it wrong? Was Donnie not liking it?

He was not sure what he was doing either, but it felt good. And he thought that he was making Donnie feel good too. Obviously he was just making the smaller confused or Don just was not feeling it.

"Sorry. Ya don't like it do you?"

"D.don't bite m.me... p.please?" His voice was scared again, thinking of Raph sinking his teeth into his soft delicate skin on his neck, he already had teeth marks there. Would Raphs even stand out?

He knew he shouldn't tell his master what to do and looked down at the bed between them nervously.

Don really did like the kisses, but teeth against skin reminded him too much of abuse. How could biting not hurt him?... Oh god he was being selfish to his master.

Scared that he was getting too comfortable and trying to stop Raph from doing his duty as his master Donnie went completely limp "S.sorry.... I.i'm yours M.master... t.to do w.what you w.want to..."

Oh god he'd tried to stop Raph from marking him. He didn't have a collar so he needed a mark! Still shaking in Ralph's hands he tilted his head to the side to expose more of his neck.

"Whoa, stop." Raphael said quickly, making Donatello look at him. "That's not what 'm saying. 'm not going ta do anything ya don't want Donnie."

The larger turtle was honestly a little upset and confused. Was he hurting Donnie? Was the smaller not really liking what he was doing? Was he being too forceful? Was Don scared?

Raphael sat up, fully aware that the smaller turtle was still snuggly sitting in his lap. But he needed to make Donnie understand. "If what I am doin' upsets ya, I want ya ta tell me. I don' want ta hurt ya Don. 'm sorry if what I was doin' upset'choo. I don't want you to be scared of me." Raph spoke softly, gently caressing the side of Donnie's face. "I won't force myself onto you again."

Was he allowed to speak his mind? Even a little bit?

Suddenly Donnie clung to Raph and started to cry heavily, letting all of his fear leave him through the tears and sobbing.

"I.i h.hated the b.biting." He admitted. Trying not to think of all the painful times he was bitten just to cause him pain, his neck was so sensitive that it hurt almost as much as his tail.

He wanted to stop crying and let his brother do what he wanted. What he deserved. But he was so scared and his memories were too painful, bleeding his heart out to Raph in hopes of some comfort when he felt more like he deserved punishment.

Oh god. What had he done? Raphael, had tried to be gentle, but the only thing he had ended up doing was hurting Donnie.

The larger turtle pulled Don closer and rubbed his shell softly as he cried. It hurt his heart to see Donnie in so much pain. The smaller did not deserve this.

What they had just shared was special, and Raph had to go on about and ruin it. "I"m sorry." Raphael spoke softly and pulled Don a little closer. Allowing him to cry.

For some reason, Raph felt as though this was what Don needed. To let it all out. To make room to heal.

Donnie curled up and cried in Raph's lap like a frightened child, which in many ways he still was.

All these years he'd locked up all of his feeling and pains to just act like a good little boy and do everything he was told without objections.

Now everything came crashing down harshly and he wasn't even sure why he was crying. Letting out years of torment and pain while Raph comforted him by holding him close and stroking his shell, for once acting and being treated like the broken turtle he was.

Raphael just held Donnie as he cried. There was nothing to be said. If there was, it would not matter anyway.

Don had a lot of pain to let out and he more than understood. He had been through so much. Raph had wondered when the smaller was finally going to cry.

But it made Raphael feel guilty that it was something that he did that made Donnie cry. But he did not leave him, all he did was caress his shell and wipe away his tears every now and again. Giving Don the comfort he so desperately wants and needs.

Now that he had started he couldn't stop and the tears just kept flowing, making his voice hoarse from crying and tears eventually running dry since he had been dehydrated for so long before. All the while he never stopped his tight hold against Raph's plastron.

The comfort helped Donnie a little, without it he would probably be hyperventilating and finding it hard to breath through his loud thick sobbing.

Raphael held Donnie close until he eventually cried himself to sleep within his arms. But the hothead never left him. He grabbed the blanket to cover them both of up and just sat there.

He did not make a move until Don began to stir a few hours later. The tear tracks were gone due to Raph wiping them away, but the pain on Donnie's face was as clear as day.

The smaller had been through so much. And crying his heart out was the only way for him to truly heal. And it was killing Raph inside. Don deserved to be happy. Not broken.

Raph nuzzled the smaller gently and kissed his cheek, just holding him and being there for him for as long as Donnie needed him too.

Donnie nuzzled back as he woke up, before looking away and just staying curled in the others arms.

He felt numb on the inside and didn't really react much to the comforting kiss on his cheek.

There was a puddle of cum under Donnie's tail from where he was so loose it had leaked out of him, the blanket covering up everything as the bigger turtle held him.

Raphael just held Donatello close. Just giving him comfort. There was not much else he could really do at this point.

However, the larger turtle blinked when he felt something leak onto his leg. It felt sticky and warm. In curiosity, Raph removed the blanket and his eyes widened when he seen a white sticky substance on his leg.

Though there was something else mixed within the semen. Blood. Clear as day it stood out and Raph panicked. "Shell! Donnie, yer bleeding!"

Donnie just looked down blankly, too numb for any real reaction, he felt empty and drained.

When he saw the bloody seman he just muttered "Sorry" Not even stuttering he was so numb, voice sounding like he was dead on the inside and just couldn't gather the effort to care.

Raphael had quickly removed the dried up cum and the wet splotches. The larger turtle felt his heart stop at the dead tone in Donatello's voice. Now that he really looked at the smaller turtle, he looked broken.

Donnie didn't move or speak. Just sat curled in Raph's arms and stared at a spot on the bed. His whole world had crashed around him the last few days and he couldn't deal with it, it was too much too fast and the crying had only made everything that had ever happened to him a real trauma in his mind.

There was nothing he could do. For once in his life, Raphael did not know what to do. He felt like a failure. Just sitting here and doing nothing for Donnie. He was the one who was supposed to protect him and now look what happened.

Don was like a lifeless doll. And it broke Raphael's heart to see him like this. Small tears began to form within his own eyes. What had he done wrong?

"Donnie?" Raph whispered softly, trying to bring Donnie back from whatever world he was trapped in. He couldn't stand to see him like this. It was hurting him inside, though what hurt him most, is not knowing how to help him.

At the sound of his name he turned his head to look up at Raph, wide brown eyes looking dull and blank.

His head tilted slightly in acknowledgement that Raph was speaking, lifelessly moving to hug him, almost as if he was moving on automatic and not really thinking of what he was doing or why.

Raphael could not take it anymore. This... this was not Donatello. No, this was... He could not take it.

Raph quickly removed himself the bed and placed Donnie onto it gently before running out of the room to find his brothers. "Mikey! Leo! I - Donnie needs help!"

Leonardo quickly ran out of his room. Frowning when he seen that Raph was frantic, obviously scared. "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know he - we were talking last night. And then he started crying and now - he's lifeless. I don't know what to do."

Leo was in the room faster than they could blink. The elder's heart sunk to his stomach when he seen the broken and lifeless look on Donnie's face. His eyes... and his scent... it was wrong.

"Don?"

Donnies eyes once again turned up to look at Leo from where he was curled under the blanket.

The broken turtle had changed overnight from frightened child to lifeless adult, looking far more older than he was. Aged by everything that had happened to him during his abusive up bringing.

He no longer even tried to hide his past, or scurry around for an order or praise, he felt hollow, like nothing mattered anymore.

He didn't even know who he was.

Leonardo could see it. All of it. The pain, the emptiness, the hurt. Everything.

And it was so powerful that tears were in his own eyes. But they had to do something. Anything.

"Has he eaten?"

"I don't know... not since yesterday afternoon." Raphael spoke softly. "But how 's dat gonna help him?"

Leo sighed and looked up at Raph. "We have to try something. Or you, you're the only one who he opens up to Raph. He's the one who came to you with all his pain. You know him better than the two of us do."

It was sad and painful to admit, but it was true. All Mikey and Leo could do was stand by and let Raphael take charge.

Fine. If that was going to wake Donnie up, then fine.

Raphael walked over to Donnie, and gripped him by the arm gently and pulled him off of the bed. For once in his life, Raph was serious. 

"I don't know where ya are right now. But 'm gonna fix ya. Even if dat means makin' ya eat." The hothead had promised Donnie that he would not force him, and he wasn't. Not intentionally anyway.

Leonardo followed after the two as Raphael dragged Donatello out. Though something was off. Something felt wrong between those two.

Did something else happen that he was unaware about?


	12. Chapter 12

Donnie was very much a lifeless doll, just following Raph while he let himself be led to the kitchen and sat down in a chair at the table.

Mikey had already laid out food for them, once again trying to put mainly finger foods but some of the better stuff needed to have cutlery.

Michelangelo sighed and cuddled up to Leo while they watched Raph take Donnie off to get some food. "I wanna do something more to help him. I feel so useless." He could make amazing food for them and help be the kind brother, but Don spent so much time with Raph that he only seemed to want to open up to him now.

Leonardo nodded in agreement. It was hard to watch and not being able to do anything. But Raphael was the only one who knew how to fix Donnie and to bring him back from whatever world his mind was stuck in. Even though Raph said that he felt useless, he wasn't. He was the one Donnie sought out comfort from the most. Who he sought protection from.

Raph was more helpful then he realized, while Leo and Mikey were the ones watching from the shadows.

Leo pulled his little brother closer and frowned. "You're not useless, Mikey. We've done all that we can. Donatello was bound to get lost within himself sooner or later. He has been through so much than we can even understand."

"I know, just...I feell bad that I don't even know him. I can't even remember him growing up like you can." To Mikey he had suddenly gained a broken brother that he couldn't even help recover now that they'd finally met.

Raphael sighed as he sat down next to Donatello and made him a small plate of food, putting it in front of him. The way Donnie just sat there was breaking him inside.

"Don'tcha wanna get bedda? Don't give in ta it Donnie. Don' get lost within yerself. It's not something that ya wanna do. But I can't help ya, if ya won't let me."

Donnie looked at the food but made no move to eat it. After a while he looked back up at Raph with a defeated look in his eyes. "I'm not hungry." The three short words were blunt and to the point, said without a single stutter or fault

Leonardo just held Mikey close and watched from across the room. He could tell that Raphael was getting frustrated. Which is why he stayed within the room, to help or intervene if he needed to.

Raphael was frustrated. Though, underneath all that was a breaking heart. Donatello had done something to him last night. Had taken something that he could never get back. Raph had shared himself with Donnie.

And now, this is how Donnie was choosing to act.

He wasn't having it.

"Then what else is there for me to do, Don? Ya won't eat. Ya won't talk ta me. Ya just sit there not doing anything." Raph calmed down and bit his lip. He should not be getting angry at Donnie. He was the one who was broken.

Then why did he feel as though their roles were reversed? Raph was the helpless one, while Donnie was the adult. His head began to feel numb.

"Tell me Don, tell me what I need ta do."

"I don't know..." Donnie sighed before looking back down. His voice was quiet and almost too soft to be heard properly even in the silent Lair.

He didn't know who he was, or who he was now. He had two stories inside his head, where his brothers were either his saviors or his enemies.

Raph's kiss had changed him, given him a taste of a life that could have been his if things were different. A life of love and education where everything was perfect and he didn't even know of abuse... But it was a dream. Like his denial had been a dream. His desperation to please in case of punishments

He didn't care if he got punished now. It was only another mark on his skin to add to his already painted skin.

Why did anything matter..

Raphael watched as Donatello was lost within his thoughts. Though, there were so many things going through Raph's mind as well.

Guilt.

Regret.

Anger.

Sadness.

Ever since he kissed Donnie, that was when Raphael noticed that Don had changed. Ever since he gently kissed and nipped at his skin. An act of affection was turned around and smacked in his face by tears streaming down olive cheeks.

Don had referred to him as his Master, a kind one. Raphael was not the smaller's master, nor was he kind. His actions had caused Donnie to break beyond compare.

And it was all his fault. He caused this pain.

"I did this to you." It was not a question nor a demand. A statement that cut through like a blade to Raphael's heart. This... emptiness that Don was feeling it was all his fault. He failed him.

"No" Again the word was simple but there was a little more force behind it this time as he turned to face Raph with a bit more fire in his eyes.

The larger turtle was about to retort when Donnie said no, but stopped when the smaller finally turned to face him. His breath caught in his throat when he seen Donatello's face.

As though he were looking at him for the first time.

Raph had been nothing but good to him, feeding him, washing him, even pleasuring him without pain.

If he knew one thing it was that he could see more clearly now because of Raph. Clearly see the suffering he'd been through.

He'd just accepted the abuse as normal everyday living, not knowing any different. But now he was realising what a family was meant to be, old memories fighting learned behaviors inside him and leaving no power left for Don to consciously think to deep.

His brown eyes held a deep fire within them, his features were no longer broken and he was no longer empty. Donnie looked normal for the first time since they brought him here. More like himself, or how he used to be.

Raph held Donnie's gaze for a long time, his features had softened as well. His golden eyes sharing that same fire as Don's. No words were exchanged, they didn't need to.

Perhaps, maybe, just maybe. Everything would get better.

Suddenly Donnie looked away sharply, not wanting to look into those loving eyes any longer. Everything made sense but he didn't want it to. Didn't want to believe that his whole life was an abusive lie.

"Can I go back to my room..." His voice was just as lifeless as before. Like he was just a shell of a turtle while his real self was fighting inside.

The realisation that he didn't know anything hit him hard. He couldn't even feed himself properly. They never trusted him to clean himself up and sometimes even stayed to watch him sleep to keep an eye on him.

If he was left on his own he wouldn’t do anything. Raph telling him the truth seeped into his mind and he hadn't been able to think clearly since. He didn't know the rules or how he was meant to live any more and it made tears come back to his eyes as he sat in silence for permission to leave

Raphael watched as Donatello quickly returned into a lifeless turtle. And it broke his heart. What had happened? What had he done wrong?

The hothead thought they were making progress just then. Was that not true? Was that look in Donnie's eyes a lie? No, it could not be. That one look was far too strong.

But the soft demand got his attention. And it hurt. Donnie did not want to be around him. The smaller wanted to get away from him. And just like before, Raph could not say no.

"Ya don' gotta ask, ya can do what you want." Raphael mumbled, not even looking at the smaller turtle anymore. There was nothing he could do. And knowing that was killing him inside.

"I'd rather you did." He admitted, sadly.

He'd only done what he was told all his life, not really able to do anything right now without orders, he was dead inside and didn't have to will do do anything himself.

He liked the affection and the kiss, the bite had just reminded him how bad it used to be and since he had only been cared for and pleasured it hit him even harder with the difference. It was a shock to his system to have his life flipped around so quickly

Raphael looked at Donatello in confusion. What was the smaller talking about. What did he mean by 'I'd rather you did'. Did he want Raph to tell him what to do?

"Donnie, look at me."

Raph ordered gently and gripped the underside of Don's chin to force him to look up at him. "I don't know what's going on through your head right now. But don't shut me out. Please tell me what's going on.  I - I don't want to lose you again."

Dons head jerked upwards instantly at the command to look at Raph, locking eyes with a spark of life that he didn't have to think about what to do.

"I'm not going anywhere...." He couldn't go anywhere if he wanted too. He wasn't fit to go back to the foot now that he suspected the truth, even then he didn't know if they would accept him back or punish him for being gone.

"I don't know how I feel..."

Raphael could see it in Don's eyes. He was confused. Lost inside himself.

Raph needed to be with Donnie alone. The larger turtle stood up and grabbed for Dons wrist, gently leading Don into the hotheads room.

He closed his door and had Don sit on the workbench within his room and Raphael kneeled in front of him.

"Ever since I kissed ya, something happened. Did I awake bad memories? Did I cause ya ta cry? I just... I can't stand ta see ya so upset. What ya did fer me back there. I enjoyed what we had shared. Ya did something ta me an' it was good. But I wanna know what I did wrong."

"I'd never been kissed..." The abused turtle said with a slight smile, looking back down to the floor without really elaborating.

Raphael felt deep pride rise up from hearing that he had stolen Don's first kiss. Actually, Donnie had stolen everything from him. But in a good way. And Raph did not once regret it.

Don had liked the kiss despite not really understanding it or why they did it. It was something that was shared between them both, not one sided and felt good for both of them.

It was just the biting. Which actually felt nice but, it could have done damage if Raph had bit down like had happened in the past.

He brought a hand up to rub at a scar on his neck, it was a deep one and it had two dots on either side where it had clearly been stitched up.

Someone had bitten down on his neck deeply and accidentally bit into his jugular. He was honestly surprised that he'd survived and was deeply scarred emotionally from it.

However, Raph frowned when Donatello placed his hand onto his neck and that was when he saw it. The two bite marks that could be mistaken for fangs had cut deeply into Don's skin.

Raph remembered gently nibbling at the tender flesh. Could that have been what triggered this?

Raphael brought his hand up to Donnie's cheek and caressed it gently, his other hand gently caressing the scar on the smaller neck. "Ya know I would never hurt ya. Ever. Whatever they did to ya... I wont. You've been through so much Donnie. But yer not alone, not anymore. You'll never have to go through that ever again."

Donnie pressed into the hand on his cheek, enjoying the touch like he soaked up every physical act of affection.

He tensed a little tough as he lowered his hand for Raph to see the scar. "I had stitches... Lost so much blood I... I thought I was going to die."

His voice started to shake with the traumatic memories and tears appeared back in his eyes. It was something that he barely thought about, not many people were interested in biting his neck and after that incident most stayed away from it.

It was just a painful memory while he was in bliss from being pleasured by Raph, it had shocked his system to the point he shut down to cope.

Raphael instantly pulled Donatello close to his chest. Allowing the smaller to cry. The hothead spread smoothing strokes on the smaller's shell.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Raph spoke softly, just holding Donnie tightly and giving him the comfort he so desperately needs. If the hothead known... He would have never of done it. Nor go near Donnie's neck. But the damage was done.

Donnie was shaking as he curled back up in Raph's arms, crying softly and he nuzzled Raph's chest. He loved the caressing and it did help to calm him down a little, but Like Raph had thought the damage was done.

He was starting to show more signs of his abuse in his eyes, now they weren't as bright as before, looking less childlike and innocent and more sad and affected by his harsh life.

He couldn't cope with everything changing so quickly, he wanted orders and just to serve a master that cared for him and... loved him. He didn't even know what love was, he'd never been loved until now.

Raphael just held Donatello and did not say anything. The larger turtle rubbed his hand over the smaller shell and nuzzled him gently.

The large turtle lifted Dons head up and slowly wiped the tears away. A frown on his face when he seen all the sorrow and depression within them.

Donnie should not look like this. He should be happy. Don's face should be full of life.


	13. Chapter 13

Raph purred as he pressed a soft kiss to Donnie's forehead. "I'm sorry." He whispered once more and just held Don again, close to his heart.

Donnie looked much better when he was happily deluded into thinking that abuse and orders were normal, now he really did look abused instead of just confused.

Raph couldn't wipe the tears away fast enough as they continued to roll silently down his broken brothers face.

Don gave a tiny smile at the gentle affectionate kiss. "Don't." There wasn't need for Raph to apologize. He's been trying to help.

Raphael nodded and just held Don close. There was nothing he could do at this point. He was afraid of pushing the smaller too much and having him break down again.

Though seeing his brothers cry. That was the hardest for Raph. It made him feel lost and helpless because he was unsure of how to make it better.

Actions spoke better than words.

Raphael brought Don's face up to meet his eyes. His eyes held the fire they had shared at the kitchen table. Though it was more passionate. The hothead leaned in close and pressed his lips onto Don's.

Don moved slightly away at first before slowly kissing back, not sure really what to do with his lips but trying to copy the way Raph was moving his.

It felt so weird, but in a good way, not knowing what it even looked like from his sheltered childhood.

Donnie fell back into his old habit of parting his legs and offering himself to Raph without breaking the kiss, back in his mindset that he was only god to be used for sex.

Raphael noticed what Donatello was doing and gently closed his legs, breaking away from the kiss. "T-that's not what I meant, Donnie."

Raph said softly. Don had been used for many things and it worried him that just one show of affection was making the smaller think that he wanted sex.

"It's just kissing Donnie-boy." He rumbled before pulling Don into another kiss. For some reason, it felt really good.

Donnie kissed back but again parted his legs, this time moving Raph's hand down between his legs before breaking the kiss.

"Please...Master" It was the first time calling Raphael his master since he was broken, his eyes showing a need to be dominated and used. He felt that he needed to balance out all the affection and new feeling with what he'd know all his life. He wanted to be abused for upsetting his master

Raphael gasped when Donatello moved his hand towards his crotch. And that look in Donnie's eyes. No. Anything but this. He did not want to do something like this.

"I-I can't use ya like that. I don't want to hurt you again."

"Please? I.i want you t... S.sorry!" Suddenly his eyes went wide and he moved slightly away.

"M.mustn't tell you what t.to do... M.master d.doesn't have to l.listen to me." Donnie's stutter had come back. Raph refusing seemed to be making him worse. It reminded him that he didn't have a say, just like before.

He was told that he didn't have to ask for anything but when he did no one ever did as he asked. He sighed and looked away, keeping his legs open and hoping to be touched. Maybe Raph didn't want him after he was so broken and emotionless with him today...

Raphael watched as Donatello's features changed. He was back to the broken turtle he was before. It was confusing.

But that hurt look on Donnie's face, hurt that he caused, made Raphael feel like utter shit.

But if this is what Donnie wanted and needed... He would do it for him.

Raphael slowly moved his hand to the slit, rubbing his hand along it gently. "...are you sure?" He just had to ask. He wanted to make sure this is what Donnie really wanted before he continued.

Donnie gave a little churr though he still looked distressed.

The abused turtle moved Raph's hand down lower to his still sore entrance. He liked to be pleasured but he never got to feel that good with the foot, he wanted to be used again.

"Sorry... Y.you can d.do what you w.want to me... Master" Donnie said while letting go of Raphs hand and leaving it again his slightly tender loose hole, he never really tightened up much, he was too ruined from use to go tight.

Raphael knew this was wrong. This was not the turtle who had wanted love and affection last night. It was much worse.

Donnie wanted to be used. He wanted Raphael to make him forget. Don wanted to use sex as an escape.

As much as Raph wanted too. That distressed look on Donnie's face made him hold back. He couldn't do this. Not like this.

"I-I can't... Not like this."

"P.please." He needed this, it was a way of life he'd come to understand and since his world had been tipped upside down he just wanted some 'normalcy'.

Donnie just wanted to feel, since on the inside he felt dead and numb.

One look at Raph though and he knew that he didn't want to, he wasn't going to use him like he needed. And why should he? Why should he listen to someone as worthless as Donnie if there was nothing in it for him?

That word. That one little word. Especially from that soft voice.

Raphael melted. He was at Donnie's mercy. After that one little word, Don had Raph wrapped around his finger. There was no way he could say no.

Raph slowly moved his hand down to Don's entrance like the smaller had wanted and gently circled the entrance. Donatello was not tight, but he had closed up some.

Raphael was careful as he slowly pressed the tip inside.

Don bit his lip but didn't make any sound, letting Raph use him as he saw fit. He was so gentle that it didn't really feel like it did with the foot, but the tip slipped in with only a little resistance, only just closing up from the stretch of Raph's cock the night before.

Raphs finger was much wider than the humans and it grazed the slightly torn skin around his entrance in a way that burned how Donnie had expected and the smaller seemed to accept the feeling of the slight pain, it was a familiar pain.

He was used to extreme pain, being forced down and taken without mercy. He knew that wouldn't happen here, but he didn't mind the light affection since it felt nice

Raphael pressed his finger in deeper. Feeling that familiar warmth and tightness that he had experienced last night.

His movements were slow and careful as he explored the deep tunnel. His finger massaging both inner walls with gentleness, though with a small force as he aimed to find that bundle of nerves.

Raph's heart was telling him to stop. This was wrong for both of them. He should not be given in. But Donnie's pleading eyes and his mind had betrayed him.

He just couldn't say no.

Donnie churred as Raph found his prostate, laying back on his shell and spreading his legs wide and inviting. He had a bulge in his plastron but no intention to see to it.

This was wrong for Donnie too. It felt, good made him want it for different reasons. He had a need to be used and abused, not pleasured like this.

But the affection was welcomed as it felt so good, he could do without too much pain if this was the alternative.

Raphael pressed his finger in deeper and continued to abuse his prostate. A low churr emanating from his throat as he could smell Donnie's arousal.

The hothead moved his other hand to the bulging slit, caressing it gently as he continued to work his finger into Donnie's ass.

But when he looked into Dan's eyes. He saw something that he could not explain.

"Donnie?"

Donnie was churring and squirming about on the bed as his sweet spot was abused in the best way. It didn't take long for the pleasure starved turtle to drop down and become hard from Raphs touch.

He wanted pain as well. To be hurt like he had all of his life. "Y.you don't h.have t.to be gentle w.with me M.master..." He assured softly, wanting him to be more rough and forceful with him

So that was what Donatello wanted. But Raph's right frame of mind was far too gone for him to really care.

Raphael pulled his finger out and gripped the base of Donnie's cock with his large hand, giving it firm and long strokes. His own cock had dropped down. Either from Donnie's noises or from his words.

Whatever Donnie wanted he would do it for him.

Raph hovered over the smaller turtle, his tip brushing the entrance. His heart was screaming at him to stop. But he was too far gone now.

It seemed as though their roles were reversed.

Raphael was the slave and Donnie was the master.

Donnie's eyes scrunched up and he gave a deliberately held back whine as he was breached. He was still tender and raph was big, but the burn didn't stop him from twitching in Raph's hand as he was pleasured.

He wanted to just be nothing again, just a thing to be used and abused by his masters and given food and drink only when needed.

It scared him to suddenly have freedom after being repressed for so long, he'd never had to think about eating, drinking or when and where to sleep because everything like that was decided for him. Now he felt like he was on his own with responsibilities he'd never learnt about.

Raphael hissed as he breached Donnie's tight inner walls. He felt guilty at the wince of pain and gave Donnie's cock a few pumps to calm the smaller.  

Why was Raph feeling dirty? So unsure of himself?

The hothead stayed like this for a few moments before pulling out and pushing back in. It was gentle and passionate.

Just like Donatello should be treated.

Donnie moved his hips to try and make it harder thrusts and seemed to cause him pain, but he kept going, drinking in the pain as familiarity of his abusive past.

He was using Raph to get pain and relive his abuse, even though Raph didn't want to. His cock was sensitive but the bruises were healing nicely and only ached a little for Raphs pleasureable pumps.

Raphael grunted as Donatello forcefully pushed his hips harder against his own. This was not what Raph wanted. But he could not stop. It felt too good.

Raph just hovers over him, allowing Donnie to do with him as he saw fit.

Donnie didn't want this, suddenly realising that he was using Raph like he'd always been used.

Just then his erection went soft and he lay limp on the bed facing away. "I.i'm sorry... W.we don't w.want this d.do we..."

Raphael could only stare down at him in shock. Realization washing over him. He looked down at his swollen and bloodied cock and felt his heart drop.

Donnie had used him. To feel pain. To feel what the foot made him feel.

Suddenly the door opened and Mikey came in, using his shell to open the door since he was carrying a tray of food and drink to try and get Donnie to eat since he hadn't touched his breakfast.

What Mikey saw was Donnie laying limp and looking with wide eyes at him while Raph was hovering over him with an erection and a thin trail of blood on his cock. "Donnie!"

Mikey rushed over and shoved Raph away to bundle his broken brother up in his arm, dropping the tray and causing a loud crash through the whole lair as plates and glasses smashed scattering food everywhere. The look Mikey gave Raph was of pure shock and disgust. "What the hell is  _ wrong _ with you."

Raphael was shocked again where Michelangelo was suddenly in the room, asking what the hell was wrong with him.

Raph did not know anymore.

His heart broke at the look of disgust on Mikey's face and the way Donnie looked on the bed. His mind raced and his vision blurred before he suddenly dry heaved.

Being used. Being looked at with disgust, it was too much to bare.

Donnie felt even worse now, seeing that look on Raph's face. He didn't want to use anyone, he'd wanted to be used and hurt! Just be be treated the only way he'd know.

"N.no I... I wanted h.him to.."

"No. Don, it's ok. You didn't do anything wrong." Mikey assured him, not letting him explain what happened as he held him close and rubbed his shell affectionately like he knew the smaller liked. Raph should know better even if Donnie did want that.

Don felt terrible now, seeing Raph like that. Mikey was looking at him the same way the foot had looked at him, like he was the lowest of the low. And Raph... He was treated the same way that Donnie had been treated all of his life and it was heartbreaking to watch.

The abused turtle was trying to get to his upset brother but Mikey was keeping him away.

"Mikey what is -" Leonardo stopped at the scene. Donatello laying on the bed, crying.

Blood.

Semen.

Leo turned his eyes onto Raphael and all he saw was red. Leonardo grabbed Raph by the front of his plastron and threw him into the opposite wall. Not at all caring about the loud smack or the painful groan Raphael let out.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?! That is our...  _ your _ little brother! And you dare to put your hands on him and -"

Raphael did not have the heart to fight back. He knew what he had done was wrong. Raph already felt sick for the scene. But nothing could fix his broken heart.  

Donnie had used him. Probably had been using him from the start.

"I gave him what he wanted."

Leo's arm pressed harder into Raph's throat as he had him pressed against the wall. "Shut up! How dare you say something like that! He's hurt and confused, you sick fuck!"

Donnie was frantic trying to get to Raph and suddenly he was darting from Mikey's arms, despite Mikey's best efforts, and trying to get Leo away from Raph.

"S.stop! I.i wanted it! Please. M.master Raph is g.good to me." The title had slipped out before he could think about it and only lead to Mikey being even more firm as he dragged Donnie away, careful now to avoid the broken plates and glass on the floor from where he'd dropped the tray. 

" _ Master?! _ Raph... That's fucking sick! Some help you were to him. We should have known something was wrong the amount of time you've been around him!"

Raphael's eyes widened when Leonardo pressed his arm in deeper to Raph's throat, growling. But the larger turtle was losing air to breathe and quickly kicked Leonardo away.

"It's not like that! Donnie's been calling me that since -"

"What? You were so lonely that you forced yourself onto him? And since Donnie was broken and confused you continued to brainwash him?"

"No." Raphael's answer was firm, not even daring to look Donatello in the eye. "Like I said. gave him what he wanted. He asked me too. Pleaded me. I - I felt something for him. But now I know that my feelings are one sided. I was only being used."

Leonardo could only blink in shock. What was Raphael talking about? The leader looked to Don who seemed defeated. "Donatello, is this true?"

Donnie retreated back into his lifeless emotionless shell, feeling even more broken and even light headed to the point that Mikey had to sit down with him in his lap to support him.

"I... Didn't want to... I Like him... He's good to me and....sorry. I... I'm not used to it here... Wanted to feel like... Used. Like I've always been... I like to serve my masters..." He tried to explain but he sounded so lifeless and empty, this only made him worse again.

Raphs words cut deep and hurt him in a way that was worse than any physical attack. It wasn't one sided. He never meant to use him but. "I was bad."

Mikey was stunned, not knowing what to say and just unable to comprehend what was really going on here

Leonardo was just as stunned. But the disgust and rage he felt was strong. Stronger than ever.

He could obviously tell that the two of them had been up to a lot more things than just this. Which angered him even more was that Leo did not know how to handle it.

"From this day forth, I forbid the two of you from being alone. To think about what you have done."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and update this fic about once a week now

"From this day forth, I forbid the two of you from being alone. To think about what you have done."

Donnie whimpered, eyes wide and terrified at that command. "No!" Raph was his only anchor here, the only one who showed him affection and taught him love and how to read and how to do everything they expected of him.

He'd been taken from everything he'd ever know and brought here, know his new life he'd started to build was also taken from him...

He was growing weaker from his struggles and his hysterical crying, trying to catch Raph's eye but he wasn't looking at him. Was he disgusted at him. All the insecurities from when Raph had stopped him from blowing him that first time was back. Had he really forced him into all of this?

Donnie managed to squirm away and ran from the room, crying out as he stepped on glass and cut his feet as he ran straight for the bathroom, to the one room he knew had a lock.

Leonardo watched as Donatello ran off. But before any of them could stop him, the smaller had already locked himself in the room.

The leader looked towards Raphael who seemed to be at war within himself. Leonardo wondered if this was the right thing. It had to be. What Don and raph were doing was wrong.

Right?

Raphael watched as Michelangelo and Leonardo left him to his thoughts. Raph's eyes trailed to the bed. The blood stains and the semen as well.

Raph knew that Donnie had not used him. Or that what they had shared was not disgusting. But... What just happened now. Donnie using him for pain...

For the first time in years Raphael huddled over himself, tears running down his cheeks

Donnie probably hated him now.

Donnie had curled up in the bathtub to cry his eyes out. He didn't want to be here. Suddenly feeling utterly alone and empty.

This hurt more than the physical abuse that he had been craving. He wanted a normal life but he didn't even know what normal was. To him normal was being held down and forcible raped by maybe two or three humans but he now knew that was wrong.

He cried out painfully each time he picked out pieces of glass and shattered plate from his feet, but there were a few pieces that were either too deep or too painful to pull out by himself so he left them in.

Donnie just sat there in the tub, huddled up by the taps and staining the white bath with blood

Raphael stood there for a moment after he collected his thoughts. Everything made sense. Donnie was broken.

The smaller had been abused all of his life. Something that was all he ever knew. And Don had wanted to feel that again. So, he chose to manipulate the hothead into getting what he wanted.

But the hothead did not want this. He did not want Donnie to be in pain.

Leonardo and Michelangelo were wrong. The did not understand.

Raphael fled from his room, not at all caring what Leo or Mikey had to say. The hothead stopped at the bathroom door and slowly knocked.

"Donnie?" He spoke softly, his voice cracked. "I'm sorry for what I said. I know ya were hurt an confused. Ya can be mad at me. But... I just gotta make sure you are okay."

"I..I used you... I was bad... you never did anything wrong and I......" Don’s voice was cracking badly from his hysterical crying, borderline hyperventilating as he rocked on his shell in the bath tub.

He wanted to be held and loved like they'd had before. He wanted to not have to think and just do what he was told and be a good boy but he didn't know how.

Raphael heard the hysterical crying and worked his way to break the door knob. Despite everything, Raph still cared for Don. The hothead still wanted to be near him.

The hothead could forgive.

Once the kick was unhooked and out of the socket, Raph barged in, his eyes widening when he seen Donnie lying in the tub with a small puddle of blood.  

"Shell Don."

Most of the blood and pain was in the splinted ceramic and glass embedded into his feet, a little still seeping from the micro tears in his entrance but he was mostly healed up back there, his mind and body were used to being torn.

He was still rocking slightly in his hysterical crying when Raph barged in and his eyes shot up to look, full of hurt, confusion and pain.

He tried to speak to ask Raph why he'd come back but couldn't breath enough during his panicked sobbing to make out any words properly.

Raphael wasted no time as he quickly grabbed Donatello and held him within his arms. Anyone else would have left said person if they were used. But, Raph could not do that to Donnie. The poor turtle had been used and abused all of his life.

Don had never experienced love or affection.

Love.

That was what Raphael had been trying to show him. But... what happened earlier... somehow Raph knew that Donnie did not mean to. He was just confused and scared.

To hell with Michelangelo and Leonardo. Besides, they kind of had something too, right?

Raph inspected the wounds, his hand gently tracing the deep cuts. He needed to get those out. His finger gently traced the swollen entrance and felt guilt, but said nothing.

The larger turtle had Donatello lean against the tub as he went to grab some tweezers, gauze, and some peroxide. Raphael hovered over him a moment.

"Are you okay with this?"

Donnie whimpered as Raph traced and gently touched the deep tender cuts. He tensed and fell almost limp again to try and relax and save and further damage if Raph wanted to go again.

His breathing evened out only slightly, letting him breathe but still not really able to do much else in his hysterics.

Eyes wide at the cleaning equipment but nodding that it was ok. He knew that it was needed, but also how much it hurt. He wanted pain though... He deserved it...

Raphael frowned at the look of pain and hurt within Donnie's eyes. He was hurting too, but he had to be the bigger person. Leo just did not understand.

No one did.

Raph rested on his knees, his hand gently picking up Don's wounded foot and looked at the cuts. He picked up the tweezers and tried his best to gently pull out the broken glass. Raphael knew that it would hurt, but he hoped that with gentleness it would not be as bad.

Donnie had dealt with pain like this before and knew the best way to deal with it. Unfortunately it was hard while gasping desperately for breath as well.

At the foot headquarters he had a blunt knife to bite down on to help, but here he just settled with biting his own wrist on the bone, whining out in pain as Raph started to gently remove the sharp splinters

Raphael slowly removed his wrist and shook his head, indicating to Donnie that that would not help. Would only make things worse. Raph allowed Don to squeeze his hand instead as he removed each piece of broken glass.

Once that was done, he placed some peroxide within a rag and gently smeared it over the wounds, cleaning away all the blood and helping with the infection.

He knew this would hurt the most.

Donnie screamed out in agony, not able to bite down on anything made it worse and he squeezed his hand tightly around Raph, showing a lot more power than when he first arrived but still weak compared to what they are meant to be

"Shh... it will get better Don." Raphael wanted to clean his entrance as well. But would Donnie let him? Would the smaller get the wrong idea? He was not sure, but he did not wish to chance it just yet.

Raph wrapped Donnie's foot up with gauze once it was clean. Though, he was honestly impressed with Don's tight grip. It was a good thing. Donnie was getting stronger.

The larger turtle then pulled Donatello in close, just holding him. "'m sorry fer what I said ta ya. I didn' mean it."

"I.i k.know" He knew that Raph didn't mean it but it still hurt, it hurt.

He felt terrible for using Raph like that, it finally hit him how Raph must feel because it wasn't lost on him that their roles had been reversed. Only Raph would never use him like that, he was too good for that.

"I.i'm sorry I... I.i wanted the p.pain..." He tried to explain while curling up in Raph's lap and just continuing to cry and reflect upon his broken life as much as he could.

"But why?" Raphael asked suddenly, trying to comprehend what was going through Donnie's mind at the time. "Why on Earth would you want that on yourself? To feel used? To be put in that situation?"

Raph was trying to understand. He really was. But how could someone want to go through all of that again?

The hothead tried to understand it, but none of it made any real sense. Raphael sighed as he held Don close, just like a protector should.

"I didn't want that for you."

"E.everything... I.it's too d.differant... I.i wanted t.to feel. L.like before..." It didn't really make sense to anyone but Donnie, but he just wanted a little 'normal' treatment, to be used and put in his place because right now he didn't have a place.

He didn't know what to do or what was expected of him. Was he allowed to speak his mind and ask for things? everytime he did they looked at him like he was crazy or didn't understand.

To him his past wasn't really abuse, it was just his life, he didn't know that it was weird or wrong until his brothers rescued him and told him that.

Raphael tried to understand. He honestly did. But it was difficult.

The hothead figured that Donnie would want to be treated more with respect then just thrown around and told what to do. Don deserved to be treated better. That life... no, that prisonment Don lived in. That was no life at all.

Here, Don actually had a chance to live normal. To be happy.

"I guess, that I can understand. But, don'cha wanna be happy? Don'cha wanna feel like a person?"

"I.i. Don't k.know what t.that means..." Donnie admitted with more tears. That was the problem, he'd never known or even seen a normal life before so didn't know what to do with one.

He had no concept of right or wrong or how to behave around people. To him words like 'slut' and 'freak' weren't insults because he'd been called them as much as his real name, they were just like nicknames to him because he didn't understand or really take them in as anything more.

"I.i Like doing s.stuff with you." His crying was starting to calm down but he was still shaking in Raph's arms, the calming way that Raph stroked his shell was helping a lot.

Raphael noded and he continued the soothing strokes, just holding Donatello close. Trying to understand all of this was going to take some time.

Though, he did understand that all of this was a big step for Don. After all, he came from a very sheltered and very abusive lifestyle. Trying to shift from one to the next was difficult to comprehend.

Raphael understood that much. And he understood why Donnie liked when he touched him. The smaller enjoyed the affection, craved in it. But it was all confusing and too overwhelming for him to really comprehend what was going on.

"I know, it's because I am gentle with ya, right? Ya say dat ya want abuse, but ya also want ta feel affection. I mean, I guess I finally understand though. Ya went from a life full of abuse and rape, and now you are in a life where ya don't have to be treated like that anymore. So you are confused and unsure of what ta do, right?"

"I.i Don't understand..." How could it make sense to want affection and abuse at the same time.

He didn't want to be back there, he loved the soft gentle affections that Raph gave him but, they were the complete opposite then what he was used to. He was scared of being treated like a lover because he didn't understand, it was all unknown territory for the abused turtle.

Donnie turned to cuddle up closer to Raph's plastron like a frightened child. Mentally he was still a child, his sheltered life having stopped him from really growing up by learning new things.

The smaller was really proud to be able to almost read a children's book, not knowing that he had mastered that same book perfectly when he was about two years old. To him it was a great achievement just to get the chance to better himself.

Raphael cradled Donatello gently and just held him. There was not much else for him to really say. Donnie was just confused and a little lost right now.

All he could do was be there for him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops Sorry I uploaded the wrong file yesterday ^^' Anyway this is the Real chapter 15

Raph brought a hand up to wipe away the dried tears and then looked at their predicament. Donnie would need a shower. Although he had already wrapped up his wounds, he would need one to wash away some of the... other stuff.

The larger turtle carefully stood up with Don in his arms and gently placed him in the tub. "'m gonna give ya a bath okay? So, jus' relax. Don' worry about nothin, okay?"

Donnie tried to keep hold of him for as long as he could before he was placed on his shell in the tub with Raph hovering over him.

He knew he needed to be cleaned and so far they had cleaned him with soft cloth instead of just throwing buckets of hot or cold water over him. That was what Raph was going to do right? With the nice cloth that didn't hurt.

Raphael turned on the water. He made sure it was warm before placing the plug in the water drain. The larger turtle figured that Donnie had never taken an actual bath before.

Babysteps.

He turned off the water once it was at Don's torso and grabbed a cloth along with some soap on it. Once the cloth was lathered with enough soap, Raphael brought one of Donnie's legs up and began to scrub it gently.

Raphael's actions were smooth and gentle and not at all rushed. He was aiming to get Don to relax, to be at a right frame of mind.

As the water slowly rose in the bath Donnie's eyes widened and he scrambled to sit up on his aching rear. He'd only been near a bath once or twice and never to be cleaned.

He'd had his head held under the water until he was desperate to breathe, sometimes at the same time as being raped. But he was sat /in/ the tub this time, Raph wouldn't hold him down... Would he?

Shaking but not about to move away since he was trying to trust Raph.

Luckily the water wasn't that deep and Raph was soon gently washing him down with the rag again, making Donnie slowly relax and feel a little safer.

Raphael cooed to the the smaller turtle when he seen him began jittery. Donnie had nothing to fear. Everything was going to be fine.

The larger turtle cleaned up the dried blood and then worked on the other leg. He avoided Donnie's entrance on purpose. Raph would not touch him there without permission.

THe hothead then worked up to the smooth and slimmer plastron, rubbing it down in gentle strokes. "We gotta get yer strength up, Donnie-boy." The emerald turtle mumbled, but continued his gentle rubbing.

Donnie just stayed still and watched Raph cleaning him without touching him in anywhere that would make him feel good.

He just shrugged when Raph said about getting his strength up, it seemed pointless since Donnie never fought back with anything. He had learnt that fighting meant more pain, conditioned to go limp and just take whatever he was given, and usually thank them afterwards.

The hothead moved the cloth towards Donnie's arms and hands. He cleaned all of his fingers and even his nails. He massaged each arm carefully before getting the sides of Don's shell and carapace.

Raphael scrubbed down the smaller neck and he frowned at the bite marks that had started this from the beginning. If only he had not been so stupid. Thinking more clearly on what his gentle biting would have done.

But that was in the past and right now he needed to focus on getting Donnie to relax.

Raph then pushed Donnie over so that his shell was facing the larger turtle and the hothead worked the cloth around each groove. The dirt that came off was not as bad as the first day, but it was still not healthy.

The abused turtle had frozen when Raph cleaned over his bite marks but apart from that seemed perfectly content to just sit and let Raphael clean him thoroughly.

When he was turned around though he once again automatically spread his legs and lifted his tail, purely out of learnt habit and conditioning that it was what was expected of him

Raphael held in his breath, quickly looking away from the sight. "I-It's just a bath Don." The larger turtle reminded, continuing to clean the smaller turtle's shell until he placed him back onto his back. Raph then began to splash water onto Donnie's body, washing away the soap and dirt that had clung to his skin.

Donnie had never had a proper bath before so he just looked up at Raph and blinked with innocent eyes, not understanding what difference that made. He'd been raped at any opportunity back with the foot, no matter what they were doing to him.

"After what happened taday... I figured ya would feel bedda if I didn'... touch ya there." Raphael said gently, his eyes full of sincerity and guilt. Guilt that he had caused Donnie pain. Guilt that he had not been strong enough to hold Donnie back.

BUt those eyes... that face...

How could he have said no?

"I.i d'not u.understand." Donnie admitted sadly as he looked away.

To him the fact that Raph had hurt him wasn't a big deal, everyone hurt him, it was normal, he wasn't important. It was allowed to hurt him... Right?

"I.i'm confused..." He confessed, though broken was a better word for Donnie's mind set as he moved his tail to cover himself again.

Raphael said nothing else after that. Whatever he said to the smaller turtle was either taken in with confusion or was not comprehended at all. Raph removed the plug from the drain and watched as the water drained from the top.

Once the tub was completely empty, Raphael picked Donnie up and had him stand onto his own two feet as he grabbed a towel and began to dry the little turtle off.

Donnie moved and lifted his arms for Raph to to dry him, his tail wagging happily at how caring Raph was being, even though he was just doing what any decent person would do.

He hadn't eaten, but he really didn't feel like eating... Maybe some water though... "C.can I have a drink? Please?" He could do without one, he had managed quite a few days sometimes without water but that was something he didn't miss from the foot. He was a turtle and needed quite a lot more water than he'd been living off before.

Raphael was stunned by the sudden request. Was it finally starting to sink into Donnie's brain? Raph hoped so and he nodded his head with a small smile. "of cou -"

"What do you think you are doing?" Came Leonardo's voice from the doorway, laced with anger. "I told you not go near him."

"Watch it Leo, Don wanted comfort so I gave it ta him. Now get out of my way so I can get him some water."

" _ you _ are not giving him anything. I will send Michelangelo to get it for him. If you don't stay away from him Raph, there will be consequences."

Raph squared his shoulders, getting right into Leo's face. "Is that a threat?"

Donnie still had tear tracks down his face but had calmed down and stopped crying. Now though his crying had started up again as he shrunk back to the bath to curl up and make himself small. Arguments and fighting terrified him, but the fact it was about him made it worse.

"S.stop! Please! I.i Like R.raphie... H.he's good t.to me!" The broken turtle had finally settled down with Ralph's help before this, but now he was building back up towards his hysteria again, curled up in the bath tub with his bandaged foot starting to bleed again from where he'd been standing on it without Raphs help.

Leonardo wanted to yell at Raphael. Tell him what a fool and an idiot he was for even doing the things he had done to Donnie. But the smaller was scared. And obviously needed the arguing to stop. "Get out."

Raph wanted to argue, but Don was scared. He didn't want him to be scared anymore. "Whateva." The hothead then walked out of the bathroom.

Leo watched him leave before walking towards the tub, frowning when he seen how scared and shaken Donnie was. His bandaged foot was bleeding.

He got hurt?

"I'm sorry Donatello. He won't touch you again."

Donnie moved away from Leo as he got closer, he didn't trust him like he trusted Raph. "I.i'm sorry. I'm sorry!" The closer Leo got the more he tried to move away.

"I.i want R.raphie" He whimpered, using Raphs old nickname because it seemed to be burned into his memories now. The nickname seemed so familiar, he was starting to remember flashes of the past, but he was trying to stop it because there was a lot of abuse he'd locked back aswell.

Leo hadn't hurt him but he was always shouting and arguing with Raph, they hadn't spent time together enough for Donnie to not be scared of the obvious leader. Maybe Leo wanted Donnie to himself which was his right as the leader?

Leonardo frowned as he watched Donatello move further and further away from him. Was the turtle really that scared of him? Had Leo really done Donnie wrong?

But the smaller wanted Raph. Why? The hothead had raped him! Why on Earth would Don want to be around him?

"I wont hurt you Don..." Leo whispered sadly, not at all understanding the bond Donatello and Raphael shared.

Donnie still had a little dried blood around his entrance since Raph hadn't wanted to touch him there, apart from that he was perfectly cleaned, his skin seeming much brighter now and shell not as dark.

He knew that whatever Leo said seemed to go around here, was he the Master and angry that Raph had claimed Donnie for his own? "I.i'm sorry... W.what d.do you w.want from me?" He'd serve Leo if he had to, but he wanted Raph back.

Out of everyone Raph seemed to understand him, and gave him affection and praise when he deserved it and even when he didn't.

Leonardo just looked down at Donatello in shock. It seemed as though Donnie was looking up at him like he would touch him? In the same manner Raphael had....

Leo quickly shook his head. No. That was not what he wanted. Far from it.

Though he felt guilt for not spending more time with Donatello or else they could have had a better understanding. "I just want to help you Donnie."

Donnie nodded and just looked down at his bandages around his foot that was starting to turn red in tiny splotches where his cuts were bleeding again.

He wanted to get affection and Leo had never touched him in anyway apart from to wash him. The smaller craved physical attention because he'd never had it, Leo didn't make him feel comfortable in this strange new place.

Had Raph taught him wrong though? Maybe he wasn't meant to feel accepted and at home here, maybe he really was meant to be a pet or something to them.

Leo frowned as he walked closer toward the smaller turtle. Donnie looked as though he were in pain and Leonardo wanted to at least help him, even a little bit.

The elder removed the old gauze and began to gently clean up the reopened wound. Once it was not bleeding, he began to patch it back up.

When he looked up, Leonardo frowned when he seen Don looking at him, though it was in a way that he could not explain. "Donnie?"

"T.thank you...."  Don was still shaking but didn't move the whole time Leo tended to his injury.

He'd taken a step forwards with Raph by asking for a drink, but now he was too scared to make requests, he just had to do what he was told and be a good boy.

"H.have I b.been b.bad?" He didn't know if Leo was angry just at Raph or with him too, preferring to be safe than sorry even though he was scared to hear the answer.

Leonardo looked at Donatello with surprise. "Of course not." The elder spoke softly.

No, Donnie had done nothing wrong. Raphael had been the manipulator in this situation. Don had done nothing wrong.

Though he still felt wary, Don seemed to act different around him. Scared even. Was the leader really that terrifying?

The only Leader that Don knew of besides Leo was the shredder, and if the blue banded turtle was anything like that human then Donnie knew to behave and be wary of him.

"Y.you were a.angry and I...." The abused turtle tried to explain away his nerves, would Leo be angry at his fear?

Donnie stayed where he was and curled his leg back up once Leo had bandaged his wounds, trying to stay as small as possible

Leonardo frowned more as Donatello closed himself off. Though the smaller did not need to fear him. Leo would never do to Donnie what Raphael had done.

"I was not angry with you Donatello. I was... I was angry at Raphael. He knows better. Should have known better."

Leo gently patted Donnie's head a small smile on his face. "You did nothing wrong. I am sorry if I scared you."

Donnie moved up into the head pat like a pet since he craved the touch.

"R.raphie m.made me feel g.good... I.i wanted him t.to..." He defended his master loyalty, wanting to be with him and not Leo. But it wasn't his place to say.

He just had to do what he was told to stay on the leaders good side.

Leonardo said nothing else after that. What was he supposed to say? Donatello was already lost and confused as it was.

And for Raph to do what he had done... it made Leo's blood boil. But he kept the fire under control, his features calm as he tried to assure the smaller that he was not a threat.

But he had to know. What did Donnie mean?

"What do you mean you wanted him to?"

"I.i wanted t.to be hurt... I.i'm used t.to it.... E.everything m.makes no s.sense here..." He quickly stopped talking though and held his hands over his mouth in panic. Did he just insult them? He didn't mean for it to sound like that.

"I.i'm sorry!" He curled up a little tighter in fear of being punished for implying that their way was wrong. He didn't know anything and to suggest that they were wrong...

He was just making it worse for himself, he just knew it.

Leonardo's frown returned and he gently touched Donatello's arm. He had not really shown any signs of comfort besides toward Michelangelo. He had seen Raphael hug Donnie, but he figured that Don would not want said comfort from him.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You said nothing wrong. I just - I..." Leo suddenly trailed off. Why would Donnie want to feel pain? And then it dawned on him. Don lived a life where he was pushed around, abused, and always told what to do. Living a life without rules was a drastic change.

But wouldn't Donnie wish to be happy and not hurt?

"You want to be happy, correct?"

Donnie shrugged but leaned into the contact once again as Leo touched his arm. "I.i Don't k.know what t.that means..." He admitted quietly, feeling stupid since Leo was talking like it was something everyone should know.

He needed to be slowly eased into this new way of life but, he'd just been thrown straight into the deep end and didn't know how to swim.

Oh god. Happiness. Donatello... all the years of pain. All the years of abuse and rape... no wonder the smaller was having such a hard time accommodating to their ways.

Donnie had never been able to experience freedom. Never been loved. Never been fed properly nor bathed.

Leo felt his heart drop stomach right then and there. They were idiots. Thinking that Don would understand after day one.

Perhaps there was more to it? DId Raphael really know more than the two of them?

Leonardo swallowed a lump and looked down in defeat. "I'm sorry..."

Donnie was still shaking slightly, eyes wide as the leader apologised to him. "S.stop... D.don't apologize... I.i'm not worth it..." He panicked, not sure what to do with himself.

He wasn't important enough to apologize to, especially to have the leader saying sorry to him. "Y.you can do w.what you want to me... Please!"

It wasn't his place to say no to anything, he needed orders and he needed to be put into his place because honestly he had no idea what his place was anymore

Leonardo looked up at Donatello confusion. What was Donnie talking about? What did he want Leo to do or what did he expect of the leader to do?

Raphael always seemed so calm around Donnie, as though nothing was wrong. Those two had gotten close from the very start. Leo was out of the loop.

He knew nothing, understood nothing.

"I-I don't get what you are saying Don."

Don didn't know what Leo meant. He wasn't telling him anything, just saying that he could do what he wanted with him.

This was all so confusing, he just wanted to curl up with Raph and try and forget about it.


End file.
